Unemotional sex is by and far worse than a sexless relationship

I’m enjoying watching the Night Manager (the only time I’ve actively sought out a BBC show in 15 years), but there was a scene in episode 4 where our Chameleon Protagonist Johnathon/Thomas/Andrew shaged the American woman partner of Roper against a wall (sorry that’s not mention to be sexust I find the actors portrail of the female character to be insipid and unmemorable). It was empty, gratuitous vapid sex. An unzipping of the trousers, a lift of a skirt and thump, thump, thump squirt (him not her), done. It was a perfunctory add to the episode, the story would be much better if the worthless scene showing the male actors arse was implied rather than shown.

This year myself and DW have fucked intermittently, it’s week eleven and we’ve only done it around 20 times, just a little over three times a week (period time has knocked a couple of weeks). Last night’s has left me feeling a bit empty, we did it in the dark, vanilla missionary, she didn’t get into me going down in her and even though I could feel her tightness gripping me he warm soft interior (with the occasional hard bump against her cervix), it felt spark-less. This has left me feeling sad-bad. For all of our ups and downs, sex has remained consistently good – there has always been a passion in what we do.

Often I come across blogs where someone is complaint about a sexless marriage and how unfair it is, or because of the sexless nature of it, it becomes an Ashley Madison excuse. That annoys me no end, whybfoes it annoy me? Because, it’s down to me to find the way to out the spark into it. Talking with DW, she was saying that her bits were feeling a bit stubbly and she didn’t get her head into the right space to enjoy it. Still, it makes me feel rotten that I wasn’t doing enough to get her off. But that’s just people, sometimes your just not up for it.

This is one of the things that really gets to me about PUA’s and men’s gripesters, neither group seems tho be that interested in their partners wants needs and feelings. Like the scene in the Night Manager gratuitous empty sec adds nothing.


Hooray No Julian Blanc

Telegraph – today.

Sense and sensibility prevails. Hooray. Here’s an open letter to Blanc.

As a father of two young girls, who will be reaching maturity in ten years or so. I am so glad that your form of garbage thought will not be promoted in my country.

Thank you every one who signed the petition, thank you the Home Office.

I’m vaguely saddened as I was looking at his schedule and thinking of turning up at Heathrow to tell him in no uncertain terms, what a father thinks of how he wishes to pray on our daughters.

Good bye Whitey find yourself a sewer and stay in it.

Jezebel: Watch a Woman Experience 100 Instances of Street Harassment In One Day

Jezebel: Watch a Woman Experience 100 Instances of Street Harassment In One Day. http://google.com/newsstand/s/CBIwkLD_2ho

Fuck me, how bad is this, I’ve got two daughters and if this is the shit they’ll have to put up with as young women, dad will be following with a pick axe stave to take some of the weird shits down at the knees.

But we know how it’ll go.

Fucker harasses my daughters, I hurt fucker, fucker gets upset cos fuckwit doesn’t understand what he’s done wrong, because it’s his inalienable right to be a street wanker. You know, the US should not publicise it’s constitution because too many fuckwits can’t comprehend it.  Y’know if James Madison just wrote.

“Hey! be decent to one another” and missed all the other shit, the world would be a better place. For fuck’s sake, no one knows what the Magna Carta says (basically don’t be a shit to the king and he won’t be a shit to you)

Stop thinking women “withhold” sex, a flawed misogynistic concept constantly perpetuated.

This idea that women withhold sex for some hidden political agenda is a false meme. People do not withhold sex for that reason. When you consider that the vast majority of men are very bad at basic mechanisms of sex, they on average last less than five minutes when actively engaged in sex are average or less than average in regards to penis size and most importantly of all detached from the emotional and psychological frameworks that cause the environment from sex.

So lets start with why I, a very heterosexual, sexually very active man would withhold sex. Plain and simple I would be having contentious emotional feeling towards my wife. I can think of only one point in time in the last eighteen months where I have withheld sex from my wife. We went through a difficult ten days where an irreconcilable difference came to light (she’d taken a lot of debt without considering the wider scope of the family), I became emotionally detached and ambivalent bordering on dislike.

Presently, we engage in sex four out of seven days per week, during our marriage that figure has gone up or down, even when my wife was undergoing chemotherapy we were frequent lovers (this was at her behest I might add as it made her feel loved and normal during a difficult period). Other than the difficulty described above neither of us has withheld sex from each other. So why don’t we? It’s mainly because we are emotionally connected to one another, we can each tell when the other is not up for it and what’s the point of having sex when there is no emotion or feeling? Isn’t that borderline rape?

So men don’t understand that withholding is caused by low feelings by the woman to the man, even in fuck buddy relationships the woman will have some reason to feel emotionally low towards the man in question. Just because a man feels he wants it doesn’t mean he’s entitled to it – it just doesn’t work that way.

My wife had a recent example of this stupidity from a former colleague/acquaintance. This chap who is in his mid 50’s, thinks he’s a player/pick up artist/idiot who having seen his photo has not aged well and is a short unattractive Puerto Rican American. My wife saw on his facebook page that he was coming to London from where he works in the Czech Republic. She sent him a message saying it would be interesting to catch up, so this is how it degraded from that point onwards.

Him: totally misunderstanding “yeh! lets hook up I’ll be staying at x hotel Kensington”

DW: “No, we’ll meet at lunchtime”

Him:”come to my hotel why not?”

DW: “I’m married with two children, I want to catch up on how everyone else is doing, Come round for dinner, meet my husband and children”

Him: a few more sulky petulant demands to go to his hotel.

DW: unfriend.

As she pointed out, he wasn’t the brightest, wasn’t averagely attractive and as she once saw him skinny dipping at a party rather small and as she knew some of his ex-girlfriends and their complaints, spectacularly shite in bed. Yet for some reason he thought at the drop of a hat, misinterpret a situation as he was entitled to something.

What the idiot really didn’t realise was that his Czech Republic salary wouldn’t last an afternoon in Kensington let alone a weeks pulling while staying in a hotel of Grosvenor road.

So, dear men of the blogosphere, women are withholding simply because they are just not that into you. Just because you are male, does not make you interesting, intelligent, kind, thoughtful, attractive and basically decent enough to fuck.

So men are the new women, how a misogynist collapsed with a pretend seizure because the woman he was bullying got a better new job

My wife caused a needy self-serving entitled misogynist to have a monster hissy fit and tantrum at work. This man has organised constructive dismissal against my wife and as such, as any sensible person would do under those circumstances, she found herself a better paid, more senior job.

It turns out that Greg, the 43 manbaby, US/Canadian MRA PUA with a taste for teenage women, (he games festivals). Has applied to this particular company  a number of times and never got asked for an interview. DW, my wife got the job with in a week of applying.

Yesterday, he overheard her saying where she was going to and he had a right meltdown. When one of the senior managers saw what he was doing and asked him to stop. He pretended to have a seizure, as Cancer Research UK has quite a number of medical professionals working there, one of them went to check him out and asked him to stop faking the seizure.

This man has made my wife’s working life miserable, in turn its impacted our family life and now the entitled little fool has had his cumuppance. Wonderful, revenge a dish best served cold.

It is a shame that misogyny is getting worse and that these professional incompetents are ruining the workplace for everyone. I’ve encountered this particular sort of man in my career and they make it unpleasant for everyone and unbearable for  women.

The worst thing of all is that they think they are superior for this but actually they are not. I’m no white knight, I’ve screwed around way too much before marriage, and I mostly don’t give a flying fuck about people unless it has an impact on my loved ones (only three, wife and two daughters).

I’d love to give him a hiding, just for the sadistic fun of it. Break him the way he tried to break my wife but she succeeded… hooray

SB-967… hurra some sense at last in US laws

“Affirmative consent” means affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity.It is the responsibility of each person involved in the sexual activity to ensure that he or she has the affirmative consent of the other or others to engage in the sexual activity. Lack of protest or resistance does not mean consent, nor does silence mean consent. Affirmative consent must be ongoing throughout a sexual activity and can be revoked at any time. The existence of a dating relationship between the persons involved, or the fact of past sexual relations between them, should never by itself be assumed to be an indicator of consent.

Some sense at last, I wonder if I could retro-actively give it to my daughters as an additional middle name. To remind them that no means no at any point and every one must respect that right.

I shagged around a lot before getting married, and I mean a lot. I had massive commitment issues as well as being a misanthrope, I sort of really do don’t regret it, it was never my intention to hurt, just couldn’t get the hang of people or commitment. Anyway what my actual point was is that I massively respected the word no and always stopped.

Sad thing is though, and I am ashamed of this, is that most of the girls/women who said yes, afterwards would have wanted to say no, give what they found out about my disappearing acts.

Anyway, good for California.