So I’ve had a positive interview and things may be looking up.

Well I’m still pessimistic about getting a job but I had an upbeat positive interview, I was very negative about it prior to it occurring – I really thought I was being served bullshit by the recruiter, but the CEO proved it wasn’t bullshit by reflecting back what exactly what had been said.

What I have to be cautious about now is pinning my heart on my sleeve in the hope that it plays out as I want.

So what do I want, the work from home aspect is crucial, I’m even prepared to cut my salary expectations for that one taking a two hour lunch break mid afternoon to pick up the sprogs from school – awesome. Being able to work non regular hours – major benefit, so much better than the £20k bonuses I got working in city brokerages, that’s just money, this is time and as anyone whose done project cost analysis accounting knows its time or money.

So I get to see the boss and his technologist next week for coffee after a meetup, then it would be meet the board and other C’s after that.

So I have today, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, to shine. I know what they want, I can revise and be specific and be a can-do rock star. So that’s good, it gives me a boost, if I don’t get further I feel more positive.

Being a nuclear family, living in an enormous, diverse, multicultural city that’s fucking expensive, child care is a cost crippler. Put it like this my net annual is a good nanny/tutors gross salary (good quality childcare and education support – you know a London living wage of £35k) – which means I never see the kids and I have nothing of my own from all the work I’ll have done, as both of us can earn way over the national average one of us can afford to be at home. Except that doesn’t work out when neither of us have a job and even though we have no debt (other than the electric bill) we have no savings as a safety net.

DW’s on a job interview this afternoon too, so it’s not as though we are sitting on our arses doing fuck all, but DW wanted to stop the stress of being the main  earned and take on the stress of being a SAHP.

There is a lot that I’ve learned during this period, and a shit load of advice to give my kids once they are grown up.

Things I realise as a parent that I should have been taught as a child

Forget cooking, cleaning and diy, what children need to know before leaving home is;

Financial management, how to look after their own money and others and how money functions.

Negotiation; saying yes themselves and getting others to say yes.

Clear communication; saying what you really mean so that others clearly understand.

Empathy and emotions; understanding how and why someone feels and behaves the way they do.

Understanding instructions; from IKEA to work and everything in between.

Motivations; what motivates themselves and what motivates others.

Organise things; do things one put things in a sensible fashion so that you can get it again.

Be polite; it greases the wheels of interaction.

These can all be dressed up in homilies and proverbs (not the Christian fundamentalist ones used to control and abuse people) like:

Financial management

Negotiation

Clear communication

Empathy and emotions

Understanding instructions

Motivations

Organise things

Be polite

Families really mess up your family life

Parenting is one of the main causes of rifts between partners. We get our parenting skills from the role model our parents set.

I was brought up by industrious grandparents who were both military, they’d get up around 5ish, I’d get up at 7.

My wife’s parents are baby boomer toxic, selfish, narcissists (not that I’m falling into the trap of hating in-laws, that’s my wife’s actual definition of them) with alcohol problems, they wouldn’t surface in the morning’s until give minutes before going to work or the golf club/spa – lazy fuckers (as well as being elderly swinger/players yuk) and they’d be morning miserable – no greeting the day happy and hopeful.

Now I’m a parent I’m getting up 5ish just as I saw my grandparents do, my wife leaves it to the last minute and is morning miserable.

I end up having to walk on egg shells cos she has the misery guilts about getting up in the mornings, such as, if I put on the laundry, put clothes away, clean or any housework shit. It becomes very frustrating, it’s easily solved; get up earlier, teach/train yourself to do it.

Its her own choice to copy her parents behaviour, I’m not forcing her to do it and I’m not going to force her to do it my way although I think its a better parenting behaviour to be up before your children.

Anyway, thinking about it you should see the sad fucker my mother-in-law is, she thinks she’s a hawt golf, she actually looks like an orange prune, she’s flashes me her saggy veiny liver-spotted tits and it wasn’t nice and the inappropriate old cow has gone for my cock in the past – cos she’s sexeeeeee, yuk. Too many holidays to Jamaica and the Burj where she’s got away with fondling the poolboys cock. The only reason she wasn’t told to fuck off was the poor sod would loose his job upsetting a wrinkly sack of a guest – I could go on for days about the vile old bat.

Biscuit snack stack

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Squirty cream.
Choco-o-nuts peanut chocolate butter.
Biscoff biscuit butter.
Blueberry Jam.
Vanilla butter creme.
Digestive biscuits.
Silver Dragees to decorate.

Send off to bedroom, with TV on to give mum & dad a sunday break.

We’ll clean up the sugar rush mess later 

I don’t know what to do but I need to do it now

Its been a month since my wife was made unemployed, the first fortnight I was rocking, I got myself a number of job interviews and I failed them miserably, mainly because I’m so technically rusty after not working for 18 months.

The second fortnight my self confidence crashed badly, I’d skipped interviews towards the end of the first fortnight because I was such an embarrassment, a complete no show for one because I was so down. I also started to avoid calls because if that. I’ve made internal excuses for the second fortnight, the first week of it was a hangover from the disaster that the previous had been.

One of the other excuses I made to myself was the busyness of Tuesday/Wednesday, on Tuesday I attend a better parenting class followed by a DVIP class. So Tuesday is full of difficult emotional stuff. Also on Tuesday evenings my wife chooses it as a day to get fucked up drunk and talk about the sexual abuses she suffered as a child. I wonder why she chooses Tuesday of all days to do it. So Wednesday I’m feeling doubly down, triply down to be honest as I’m tired from a sleepless night processing all the stuff from Tuesday.

So Wednesday becomes a fail, that rolls on to the next few days and here I am now, depressed and guilty as I’m doing nothing to push the family forward.

I need to get off my high horse and work hard to get this to change, I think of Chris Gardners books , The Pursuit of Happiness and Start Where You Are. I think of all the hard grunt work that many people do to put a roof over their families heads and I sit here wallowing in my own self pity because I can’t get my head around thing’s.

A place for everything and everything in its place: Tidy up doesn’t mean push under the sofa

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This is the pile of shit generated in 20 minuted by two unsupervised kids and when I asked for a tidy up, it was all pushed under the sofa.

Aaaaaaaargh! I know what the problem is is it’s differing role models, I’m a neat freak and somehow I was taught to tidy up after myself. I wish I knew how it was done, because I can’t seem to achieve it.

My wife is just as messy as the kids, if something misses the bin, meh! just leave it. Things just can’t be put away, her makeup for example, is left scattered everywhere. She complains that it was unfair in her childhood that her parents would throw her stuff away. I’m not bloody surprised, I’m tempted every time I have to tidy up swathes of litter and detritus to throw what ever toy is left lying about away with the junk.

Does anyone have any advice on how to encourage adults and children to be tidy?