Unemotional sex is by and far worse than a sexless relationship

I’m enjoying watching the Night Manager (the only time I’ve actively sought out a BBC show in 15 years), but there was a scene in episode 4 where our Chameleon Protagonist Johnathon/Thomas/Andrew shaged the American woman partner of Roper against a wall (sorry that’s not mention to be sexust I find the actors portrail of the female character to be insipid and unmemorable). It was empty, gratuitous vapid sex. An unzipping of the trousers, a lift of a skirt and thump, thump, thump squirt (him not her), done. It was a perfunctory add to the episode, the story would be much better if the worthless scene showing the male actors arse was implied rather than shown.

This year myself and DW have fucked intermittently, it’s week eleven and we’ve only done it around 20 times, just a little over three times a week (period time has knocked a couple of weeks). Last night’s has left me feeling a bit empty, we did it in the dark, vanilla missionary, she didn’t get into me going down in her and even though I could feel her tightness gripping me he warm soft interior (with the occasional hard bump against her cervix), it felt spark-less. This has left me feeling sad-bad. For all of our ups and downs, sex has remained consistently good – there has always been a passion in what we do.

Often I come across blogs where someone is complaint about a sexless marriage and how unfair it is, or because of the sexless nature of it, it becomes an Ashley Madison excuse. That annoys me no end, whybfoes it annoy me? Because, it’s down to me to find the way to out the spark into it. Talking with DW, she was saying that her bits were feeling a bit stubbly and she didn’t get her head into the right space to enjoy it. Still, it makes me feel rotten that I wasn’t doing enough to get her off. But that’s just people, sometimes your just not up for it.

This is one of the things that really gets to me about PUA’s and men’s gripesters, neither group seems tho be that interested in their partners wants needs and feelings. Like the scene in the Night Manager gratuitous empty sec adds nothing.

Advertisements