More on being toxic

Yesterday, I talked about accountability and the steps needed to be able to hold yourself accountable and to be mindful.

Today, I’m going to explore the future as changes we make now will affect us in the future. So what I’m starting to understand is that there two branches of mindfulness, being mindful now, the present mindfulness and mindful future.

It is rather like Wilde’s a Christmas Tale, except there are no ghosts to guide us. Rather my own mindfulness. The thing is the ghost of the past continues to haunt the present and it reaches into the future,

What I have endeavoured to do in this blog is to discuss our faults and seek to rectify them. Except this summer we were caught unawares and failed miserably.

So far, the repairs seem to be working, and as I said yesterday there needs to be a measure to show that this is, in fact, working. Our daughters are appearing to be happier and a lot less troubled.

Now I’m not an advocate of staying together for the good if the children, because if things still remain bad then the children will be reacting to that badness, if things become good (as they seem to be) then the children will be better. So they become the acid test of the measure.

I’m pretty mindful that we have to work hard at it and not skip back into bad ways. One of my big concern’s is my wife’s difficulty in communicating her own needs  which ends up with her crashing and I react badly.

So I’m being hyper mindful at the moment and even more so being future mindful.

Advertisements