“How do you feel about me?”, my gut tells my head and the answer is “I want to make love to you”

I read this post by Katrina at yala.wordpress. com. I’d made a comment because I’m a firm believer in gut instincts and gut feelings. Many times in the past I’ve listened to my gut, one in particular was when I was a senior manager of the web development department of major UK High Street retailer. I’d been tasked in taking there web presence from absolutely nothing to something (this was in the late 90’s). I’d handed my notice in and working my last month, when I was called in to see CEO, CMO, and CIO. Jointly they made me an offer, each would give me a tax free personal gift of a lot of money, a big pay rise, a non performance related bonus plus use of the company executive jet to fly me to another city and back at the weekends (was dating someone there, but it wasn’t serious).

My gut responded and the first words that came out of my mouth was no, I turned down a dream offer, a golden snare, even by today’s standards. The acceptance of it would be too much and I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I’d said yes.

Today, I had another gut response, for all of the ups and downs in our marriage, my wife asked me today; “How do you feel about me”. As soon as she said that, the only thought about how I feel about her is ” I want to make love to you”.

Think about that statement, I’m a horn dog, I’m sex obsessed. I love fucking in all its forms, but my initial response was “make love” not fuck or anything related to that. Fucking is good but making love to another human being is a deep expression of feeling. It’s meaningful.

So I introspected for a bit and self analysed what my gut had told my mind. She kept on asking for a reply as I was thinking and then I told her exactly the words I’d used to talk to myself. We chatted about it for a while before we then went off to the bedroom.

I could describe what happened next, but it was pretty much like our early days but without the vigour that we could muster from being 12 years younger. It was nice, she orgasmed, I orgasmed, it was nice and sensuous.

So perhaps we’ve had a turning point.