At this moment I feel like I’m a mash-up of two sayings, proverbs, concepts, what ever they may be. The first one is the elephant in the room, you know that unspoken issue, which everyone sees but no one will talk about. The other is the story of getting three blind men to describe an elephant. One thinks its snake like (the tail), the other thinks its tree like (the legs), the last thinks its best like (the ears), each thinks its different because of their limited understanding.
So that’s what I feel like at the moment, the unspoken issue and a limited understanding of it. It books down to my cowardice over job hunting. Two weeks ago my self confidence was knocked by my rustiness after having not worked for 18 months. My wife has awesome confidence in my abilities I wish I could take a smidge of it and use it to push me forwards.
I don’t know what to do at this moment as I feel like a dead weight loser, there is too much at stake though as we run out of money soon and I’m not looking forwards to the consequences of that. I had a pretty bad dream about it.
So now a new week starts and I have to ho for it, put myself and my ego to one side and get something to support the family.