I started writing this post in the “blue sky” style, lots of third person, feely, psycho babble jargon. I was trying to do a polite gripe, then I thought sod it, let’s be myself. This is a bit of an open letter to DW, my wife, and a complaint.
For years we’ve fucked well, the fucking is pretty much better than any of our previous partners and we’ve both done a lot fucking around before we got together.
We fuck a lot, mostly vanilla, occasionally kinky, your tight, I’m big. We fuck in ways that make most people envious. We also make love, the passionate sensual kind. Finally, we get a lot of pleasure from each others bodies and strive to make it pleasurable for each other.
But, somehow darling, you have to find a way to step out of the self zone and listen and be more giving. It wasn’t much that I asked for last night and your complaint that I was too soft was because you didn’t listen.
It wasn’t much of thing but the little things builaffurmitavlyme and if they aren’t nipped in the bud, they cause resentment. Yes, I know you had an Anglo-Catholic, Scottish Calvinist upbringing, where sex and pleasure were not things to be enjoyed. Still your orgasm confounds you, and the pleasure state it brings causes an odd guilt. Also, there is nothing dirty or guilty in making another person orgasm.
I was rock hard when you came into the bedroom, I was thinking about some of the things we’ve done previously, I asked you nicely to talk and pretend while you were going down on me. I wanted to hold and caress your boobie and gently caress your pussy while you were sucking me.
And you said;
That two letter word is the world biggest passion killer, I’ve never said no to anything you’ve wanted to do when it comes to sex, fortunately you’ve never put me in a position where I’m out of my comfort zone (just for the record that would be watching you in a gang rape, bukkake, dogging with a side order of arrogant cuckolding orgy with ugly men).
So simply put last night I wanted you to do a bit of talking, let me caress you while you sucked me, and you said no and then complained about my cock being soft.
It sounds like a trivial gripe, but let’s stop it now, before it becomes a thing.
Sometimes these things are difficult to talk about, sensitivities are often high when talking about sex. I find that still in society and culture at large there is a lack of openness, magazines and blogs create a dichotomy when it comes to sex, ’10 ways to orgasm more, ’15 ways your partner isn’t satisfying you’, ’20 years in an orgasmless relationship, ’25 ways to spice up your love life’.
Actually, there is only one thing that needs to be done, listen affirmatively and act accordingly. This may require stepping a bit outside your comfort zone, but not do far as to becoming resentful and unhappy. Also, that slight move from no to yes changes the whole thing from a negative experience to a positive one.
So, last night what could nave been different? She could have just let me caress her, we do it often do why was last night a no? We talk while fucking often, so why was it a no? Is it just because I asked for it? Hmmm! That would take things in to a weird world of problems.
Anyway, it ended up with a good blowie, I came in her mouth, we snowballed, do I guess I shouldn’t gripe, but enough with the no’s, say nothing rather than negative.