Is sexual compatibility the key to maintaining a long term relationship

In a nutshell, pretty much yes. I got to thinking about a former girlfriend from many years ago. It wasn’t a complicated relationship, we were very compatible on an intellectual level and on a cultural level as well as social backgrounds. We met at a dinner party thrown by her mother. Now to be honest it was a fit up by her mum. I had been friends with her mother for a number of years, I had become friends with her as her common law husband was my boss.

After they had spilt up we’d maintained a friendship (even though my boss didn’t know, he was the insanely jealous story and would have made her life miserable). Her daughter had split from an ltr of a number of years (her boyfriend was a partner at an investment bank) and she felt that her daughter could benefit from a new relationship.

I was vaguely aware of the mother’s plans she was a very honest and open, straight forward woman. I knew about her sexual proclivities as her husband blabbed about it at work. She knew I knew, but we said nothing to one another as its not a polite or respectful thing to do. So at the dinner party I hit it off with her daughter. Once the patty had finished we stayed up late talking as she was staying over at her mums mansion flat.

In the early hours we started snoging, hands ended up in sensible places, enough to know that that a few centimetres up it would be on boobs, a few centimetres to the right on genitals with no indication that it wouldn’t be welcome for either of us. Then the critical moment came, I had on a thick leather belt with an embossed roundel saddle stud buckle. She started to pay an interest to it and in doing so touched it. So I just undid my belt and unzipped my jeans and left it at that.

A moment or two of contemplation by her and she slipped her hand in, she was shocked to discover, first that I was commando (always am) and second  I was much bigger than she expected. She undid her jeans and we carried on snoging and fiddling with each other. As the sun rose she suggested it was time for me to go. So off I went home.

A few days later her mother an I met for coffee and a chat, we spoke about her daughter and I said how much I liked her and the down side was the distance between where we lived. A couple of weeks later, out of the blue I got a phone call, she said that from the coming weekend, she’d be housesitting her mums flat while she was on holiday, would I like to come over for lunch as she didn’t know the area.

So Saturday lunchtime I turn up at her mums flat, we talk a bottle of wine is opened we talk more, then that terrible silence descends. I’m sitting on the floor thinking about how I fancy her and the best way to resume our snoging, she says that if I want to go I can. I said well no I like being with you and I’d like you to be here next to me. She got onto the floor and we resumed quickly where we had left off at the dinner party.

Soon we’re in the guest room on the bed, I undress her down to her cream silk matching lace bra and big knickers (as my wife calls them – they were the brief style). Then I was surprised, she got out of bed, closed the curtains, got under the duvet and took her bra and knickers off. Ok, I thought first shag nerves, maybe a bit body conscious. So I climbed under the duvet at the foot of the bed and worked my way up her legs kissing as I went. I hot to her pussy, thought yum and she put her hand over her bits and said no. I was surprised, I said I’d like to and she said no I don’t like it let’s just make love.

So I stayed with her for three weeks, popping home to get a some clothes while her mum was on holiday. Every shag was the same, lights off, under the covers, no oral and no positions. Plain old missionary every time (and not the good missionary where it knees up and feet by ears). Fortunately, I was doing a lot of running and swimming at the time as I competed in marathons, tris and ultrafit contests, so I wax able to get onto my elbows and toes in the plank position and give her a good pounding, mainly due to the fact I knew her mum liked to fuck so I assumed like mother, like daughter – not so.

I think she enjoyed the sex, he face flushed, her head went back, her mouth and eyes went wide and she’d make a long oooohhh! sound, so I guessed I was hitting the spot. She did say, she really liked it and that her insides were a bit tender, but I didn’t enquire further as the lights off, under the duvet thing had me confused.

While I was there her period happened so for the middle week, we got to know one another, bar the difference in sex (and I was cheeky on a number of occasions, trying to get into other positions. a crafty manoeuvre into a 69 and a reach around to her bumhole – each received a flat no), we got on in every other respect, yet when the house sitting was over, we went our separate ways and the phone calls got further and further apart.

A while later I bumped into her mum and she asked me to come over one evening for a chat, I guessed it would be about her daughter, the stay and why it went nowhere. Well, yes it was, her mum had discussed me and her daughter’s complaint was that I was too much in the bedroom – morning, noon and night all I wanted to do was fuck and in so many different ways, doing dirty stuff.

Her mum said she guessed her daughter wasn’t that much into it, her ex had been a heavy drinker so they’d spent much of the relationship pissed up, and although her daughter had recovered from the drink and drug binges, she’d never really had much of a sex life. I said that I was thinking she was much into the same stuff as her mum. She quizzed me at that point asking what I thought I knew and where I got the information and I explained that her ex-husband had blabbed extensively about her and that’s what I liked.

Anyway, the upshot of his is find a partner who you are compatible with sexually as well as intellectually, then you can grow and change together.

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