Last night my wife DW attended her very first AA meeting, to prepare for it she went via a corner shop and bought 20cl’s of Vodka and poured it into a coke bottle to “mask” it. It was pretty obvious on her return home that she’d been drinking.
I guess this shows why she needs to attend AA as much as I need to attend DVIP. She has a block with the 12 steps, the bit where you “make amends”, too many people she reckons, she rattled off a list of “sorrys” to people from her past, most of them had nothing to do with alcohol. It was mostly to do with guilt over some trivial thing or a difficult situation she had got herself into.
So, this is the first step, while not saying she’s powerless over alcohol and realising it within herself, she did show that she is powerless, hopefully she can use that and grow with it.
I need to find the right way for her to support her in this, I’m a domestic violence perpetrator so my “support” mechanisms are borderline (or actually) abusive rather than supportive. I’ll try to discuss it at group tonight – see how far I get with that. Groups a bit tedious with going off topic and/or sticking with the syllabus, you know “we’ll talk about that at another meeting.
Finally, I’m trying not to do victim blaming here, I’m pretty much responsible for my wife’s alcoholism I know that my behaviours have driven her to drink, so this is an attempt at objectively seeing my behaviour and the effect it has had. I have to change before she can.