If only I was a hip dad

I was just reading a pist on how to make edible zombie brains from rice crispies, fluff and strawberry syrup. If I could be bothered to be a cool dad I’d do it for my sprogs as shits and giggles for their lunch bags, but I just can’t be arsed. The time and effort for a lunchtime snack in a suburban London state school populated with uncultured east european and north west asian peasants, as well as fat ugly alky morons and their offspring with the grief they’ll give my two for being a little different.

There is enough bullying going on in British schools as it is, I’m not gonna make mine targets for little shits. A boy has been bullying my eldest and (stupidly) I encouraged her to hit him when ever he hit her – tit for tat style. Well, of course his mum’s got really shirty about it – meh!