When you are making cooking or recipe recommendations don’t be a pretentious twat

I’ve taken this twaddle straight from a site, if I don’t have eggs I ain’t gonna make something.

Baking recipes typically require eggs. If eggs aren’t an option, you don’t need to try new recipes. Depending on the dish, you may only need a few simple modifications.

Whether you’re a vegan, allergic, or just ran out of eggs, Food52 looked at some alternatives based on the purpose of the eggs in the recipe.

Binding: Eggs hold ingredients together and give food texture.

Leavening: Eggs give lift to baked goods, which makes for a lighter texture.

Moisture: When there are few or no other wet ingredients, eggs increase a recipe’s water content.

Thickening: In recipes such as custards and crèmes, eggs lend density and creaminess.

Color and flavor: Eggs contribute to the final taste and color of certain breads, pastas, and pastries.

Depending on the function of the egg, they’ve got a few different options, including:

Ground flaxseed
(Not in my cupboard)

Commercial egg replacers
(Not in my cupboard)

Vinegar and baking soda
(Wtf)

Silken Tofu
(Seriously… Seriously not in my cupboard)

Chia Seed
Oh fuck off now, you’re being really pretentious

Thickening agents like cornstarch or xanthan gum

Mashed fruits and vegetables
Yeah, but It’ll taste like shit.

A while back I read this pretentious idiod going on that Ox Cheek beef rendang was a really frugal meal and that ox cheek is dirt cheap. Nah, fuck off. I’ve got a mate who is an old school butcher, says their is no call for ox cheek so has to order it in and it’s dead steep now. The only thing I had in my kitchen to make this particular recipe was water in the tap. Adding up all the cost of the different ingredients in their packet from from Tescos was fifty fucking quid and no chance any one in my family would eat it.

Let’s call it pseudo frugal and totally pretentious.

Advertisements