I glanced at a sex story just now and I couldn’t even get past the first sentence, somewhere someone has tried to tell people that allusion and metaphor are the best ways to set scenes and write well.
I’ve had sex with quite a few women, but I’ve never encountered a woman who I have been able to “dip” a finger in “repeatedly” so that the mucosa from her vagina “drips like honey” off each finger. Perhaps my imagination has failed with age, perhaps I can’t see the allegory for the trees or the symbolism any more.
Pornographic movies appear to have changed peoples concept of sex from fun and enjoyable to abusive competitive fucking. A few years ago my wife was chatting with a younger friend and their conversation turned to blowjobs, her friend basically described that her blowjob technique was to be throat fucked and swallow cum. DW on the other hand said she did kissing and snowballing. Her friend was amazed that people did it the way that my wife described, DW went on to explain that she’d never enjoyed giving a blowie because of the pushing into her throat hurt and she’d never enjoyed the idea of cum in her mouth, but after I suggested snowballing to make it a bit more equal, she’d taken to me cuming in her mouth quite enthusiastically. Mainly because it wasn’t a domineering activity.
I’ve noticed that a lot of erotic writing (and my wife reads a lot of it) that the floridity is a bit over the top. It makes me wonder if as online porn has changed many men’s attitude to sex, if the over the top descriptions are altering women’s attitudes. My main concern is that many people are still very naive about what happens and the trends I’m seeing now-a-days of disconnected singleton dating with little in the way of real experience slightly disturbing.
I wonder if we are going to see a Ruskin effect, where by the realities of interpersonal relationships are clouded and sullied by the visualisation that people have gained from online porn and the increase in erotic writing.
To save you from tl;dr Ruskin and his wife Effie never had sex, from the above.
Effie herself was the inadvertent source of the most famous of explanations: Ruskin, she said, “had imagined women were quite different to what he saw I was, and that the reason he did not make me his Wife was because he was disgusted with my person the first evening”. From this emerged the canard that Ruskin, used only to the smoothness of classical statues of the nude, was repulsed by the wedding-night revelation that Effie had pubic hair.
I wonder how many people now feel disappointed with sex because their partner does not match the idealised image they have from porn and erotic writing. Or even worse a grass is greener attitude in a current relationship. At the end of the day your sex partner is only as good as yourself, you have to understand your ability to give as well, as their ability to give.
As an example, I’d love for my wife to share my cock with another woman and both give me a shared blowie and I can watch them snowball, while I bugger the other woman and eat my wife’s pussy at the same time, reality: it’s not going to happen at all (for many reasons other than the obvious), it’s not something my wife could do. Just as I couldn’t turn into a vampire, incubus, werewolf, cowboy, navy seal, contortionist and dominate her in a Mills & Boone way.
So we leave our sexlife in a very active but ordinary way. Frankly, I’m happy with things the way they are.