Does acceptance of abuse start in the playground

Last week I witnessed a horrifying thing. In the school playground a boy grabbed a girls head and started bashing it against a tree shouting “you will do as I say”

For every woman who reads this, this will be triggering. I think I’ve witnessed an interesting phenomena which needs further exploration.

The girl above is my eight year old daughter, the boy is her “best friend”.

I intervened and asked the boy to stop in a very very respectful non-confrontational manner. The boy ran off in total histrionics – I subsequently found out it took half an hour of teachers TA’s and security staff to find where he had hidden.

For me his story stops there as its my daughter I am totally concerned about.

I took her away from the situation, gave her a big cuddle and said some positive words to her. I waited a little bit and then asked gently what she felt about it.

Her response shocked me to the core and horrified me.

He’s my friend that’s how we play.

Things rapidly devolved from that point. I sat there feeling like a total bystander in my child’s life. Both myself and my wife thought that we had explained to our daughter respectful behaviour and how she should expect to be treated.

My daughter and I talked further and I asked her to stop playing with him and to play with other friends.

Her response was that she didn’t want to because he was her best friend and that she only wanted to play with him and that he was only doing it because she got his game wrong.

Oh my god – classic abuser/victim talk. She is eight, she’s eight. This should not be happening.

I’m discussing with every agency and authority that I can get hold of (who will also give me the time of day) to turn this around for both of my daughters.

I’m not very happy at the moment.

Wish me luck, and lets see if I can rise to this challenge make things better and improve the lives of those around me.

Not many people are confident that it can be done.

Update… edited to take the ME-ness out of it. I know its my blog and this a blog all about me and my opinions, but this is so much more important.

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