Do you know what its like carrying an asleep child on the Tube during rush hour delays

Well, that was me. Youngest spark out on my shoulder, standing on a packed platform, loads of twenty something ‘tards pushing, shoving, tutting. Do you think this is my hobby, do you think I want to be doing this?

What a bunch of fuckers young Londoners are. Well I had petty revenge, kicked one woman’s heels out from under her, when she shoved past, tripped one bloke who pushed in hard and bag tugged a second who did something similar. Yeh! I was looking for a fight. Go on pick on the bloke carrying a young asleep kid, make yourself look like the specimen you are.

Years of schlepping on the central line has taught me how to be a quiet bastard. So next time you get off the tube and wonder how your bag is broken, it’s the old bloke with kids who owns a strap cutter.

I fucking hate London at times.


The city from Bankside