Running out of things to say

I know there are plenty of articles, books and people who will take your hard earned cash and tell you how to blog, I’m not into that, mainly as I see this as a brain dump of the ups and downs of my life. I sometimes think that with my other blogs I need to invest more time with technical writing or journalism… frankly I can’t be arsed to do so. It takes a lot of time and effort to handcraft a decent bit of technical writing, that’s accurate and informative also there are other factors, comfort (I blog mostly from my phone slobbed on the sofa), in order to write a good bit of copy you need a good desk, I do actually have that but it’s at the top of the house and I find I end up schlepping up and down stairs all the time. Next is time, to write well you need to get into the zone, especially when its a technical article you need to have the time for research, corrections and thinking.

So I think I’ll stick to brain dumps. I’m often impressed with some of the technical bloggers I read, especially the ones with the young families, where do they get the time, peace and quiet and inclination after a day at work and an early evening with the kids.

Then there is the procrastination,  reading twaddle left right and centre, wanking. I wank way too much, first thing in the morning, a couple of times during the day. It’s not good, my ability to produce cum is decreasing and I can’t produce enough by the evenings to flood my wife’s innards when we have sex which makes it less than satisfactory for her. Then there’s my wife’s alcoholism, although she’s not been bad recently, I’m always on tenterhooks watching out for an escalation, as an example Friday she had a drink before coming home and I’m so used to the signals I spotted it immediately. Sunday, she comes home from shopping and takes a swig from a JD bottle, thinking she could hide it. So at this moment I’m expecting an escalation to occur and we’ll start sinking again.

It’s not good for the children, dad’s sex obsessed, mum’s drink obsessed and the children get sidelined during all of that. I worry about their psychological development, at this time my wife has got it into her head that we are normal, you’re averagely fucked up, trying to get by wester family. But I don’t like normal, I think we should be exceptional. We(re both intelligent enough to work out a path through all of this, but we just get sidetracked.

Money as well is our biggest downfall too, in three years between the two of us we have grossed three quartets of a million pounds £300,000, approximately £100,000 per year and we have fuck all to show for it. Our kids were in a private school, we had nannies and still we haven’t achieved happiness. Money doesn’t make happiness but it helps to lubricate the path to happiness, well managing money effectively, is the real problem we have.

Last week I bought a book called the question book, which I was (am) going to turn into a series of blog post, it asks questions about every aspect of your life. Day one with the book started well, I made a template and did the first set of questions, following day started on the second step and just stopped. So five days later still nothing done. Meh! At this point, rather than de-procrastinating, and setting too on the task I set myself, what I’m actually thinking is “well, lets go and have a little wank – it’ll take your mind off things” and in that makes things a little harder.

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