69 weeks to turn around a failing marriage


This is a little diagram of how our relationship has been over the last 69 weeks.
It’s basically
June ’13 to Oct ’13,
Oct ’13 to Dec ’13.
Jan ’14 to Oct ’14.

It’s basically, the main events that caused our total crash and then the rebuilding. In June ’13 it came to light that my wife had run up some tremendous debts, I should have left at that point and let her get on with the mess that her life had become, instead I set to and bailed her out, causing a lot of resentment on my part.

Then during the course of a trivial argument over some worthless stuff, I let my resentment get the better of me and I punched her in the face. Police were called, I was arrested.

So from that point, we tottered along, no worse no better, but our personal guilts keeping us on the straight and narrow. Then October ’13 erupted with another argument, this time about a shit au-pair and her drinking, this time I didn’t hit her, but the police were called anyway and I was banged up again. This was the point I quit work, to deal with my mental health issues.

Again, the dust settled and we tottered on together until December ’13 when my wife had a freak out at the school Christmas carol service, she hates christianity with a passion and rather than doing the sensible thing and not going, we went. Fortunately, there was no argument this time, but the school called the police and the SS and we had a pickle to resolve.

Since January ’14, we’ve slowly and unsteadily got better as a couple, my wife’s drinking is no where near as bad as it has been, other than being a bit on shakey ground, our money situation isn’t as bad as it was, most debt are gone. The few that remain are being managed.

Somehow we need to move forward to a much better place, I want to return to work, now that the children are secure and stable. We have a much better understanding of how to work things as a family and it’s now a case of onwards and upwards. As long as there isn’t any hidden stuff to rock our knife edge balance.