Money problems, honesty, delusion, poor management of bank account. How it can lead to divorce

I really don’t know how to start to describe this problem or even what to do about it.

My wife, DW, is bad with money and when I mean bad, just about every trait a person can have to mismanage their own money she has.

For years now I’ve had to act as her personal accountant, bookkeeper and bank teller. She just seems to evaporate money hands down. To give an example, she recently had a bank account closed by her bank for mismanagement. She kept on bouncing direct debits and having unauthorised overdrafts that the bank gave up on her and closed it.

You would think that that would be a warning signal, but no, not in the slightest. So how there is something missing in her head when it comes to cash, it’s like she has some form of money dyslexia, perhaps it should be called dyspecunia, a portmanteau of “dys” and pecuniam the latin for money.

So this is an example this week of how it goes wrong for her. Money, she has £40 transfered to her bank account to pay for her travel pass, something goes wrong at the tube station, her bank card doesn’t seem to have the money, it was transfered (as I did that) but something happened. She spoke to the staff at TFL who said there was a payment problem going on and that her bank would do an adjustment. Well a week has gone by and no adjustment, this next part is where the problem really is.

She won’t ring the bank to find out whats happened, her reason is that she’ll use up phone credit (what else is a phone for).

So she doesn’t know what happened and won’t try to find out, but here is where the problem gets so much worst, she lies to herself and has problems remembering. She claims that she spoke to the TFL staff, but unless I have corroborating evidence it’s difficult to believe her, she has had a history of lying to me about money.

This is the classic description of irreconcilable differences.

Today she has to pay a debt, yesterday morning I knew she had £20 in her bank account, later on I topped it up with enough money to cover the debt payment. When she got home last night I checked that there was enough to cover it as it goes out today, but tgis morning when I rechecked there was a £13 deduction meaning that there wasn’t enough to cover it, so I’ve had to top up again, so so the debt is paid, she won’t incur bank penalty charges and debt increase charges.

Somehow she either has a evil witches cures on her regarding money as no one should have this amount of bad luck with cash, or she has a serious problem going on in her head with truth, openness and honesty.

It’s a major problem in any relationship when trust breaks down over a problem.