You all know the story, or you can google it Marianne Faithfull and the Mars bar. Years ago I was dating we were sort of semi serious, one of my longer relationships at just over a year. Actually, prior to getting married it was my longest relationship. We didn’t live together but we indulged in quite filthy sex.
So one evening we’re sitting on the sofa and somehow the Marianne Faithfull/Mick Jagger Mars bar thing popped up it could have been on the TV or in a magazine. So we grabbed some confectionary, she opened herself up, inserted it and I set to with gusto. Yum, yum, yum I scoffed it and was really horny, so was she and we fucked like rabbits on the sofa.
Over the following days she became itchy and so did I. During our time together we basically fucked every day, often a couple of times a day (as well as bum love during her period). We both came down with the worlds worst case of thrush. The combination of fats and sugars in chocolate, plus cum, plus body temperature, plus the location was heaven for the fungal spores.
Hell, it was horrible. We were both plastered with canestan, she pessaried herself frequently and it was only through abstinence could we clear ourselves up.
So the moral of this story is … don’t eat chocolate from lady bits otherwise you’ll give her a hard time (and not the hard thing you intended).