Don’t go looking up women’s skirts, it’s a sex crime and don’t you dare claim it was the woman’s fault

First off it’s a sex crime, plain and simple, if you don’t understand the basic concepts of human rights such as respect and personal privacy, don’t go out in public.

Some years ago myself and DW, my wife were out for the evening, it was early summer, warm and the sun hadn’t set yet. DW was wearing a white Laura Ashley mini dress with red flowers printed on it. She looked good. As we are married, live together and sleep in the same bed (not uncommon for married couples) I also knew the lingerie she was wearing, first off it was a prezzie from me, second we got dressed in the same room, because of the events that unfolded I can remember the bra and knicker set very clearly, although it’s only going to be the knickers that feature in this tale.

They were a set of purple gauze, sheer lace Freya bra and thong set. DW looked totally sexy in them and this was to be a hot date night for us (married couples can still date one another). Now I fancy DW always have done, always will do and I’m a total letch for her, I love seeing her dressed, undressed and every state in between. So the thing is that these knickers were particularly outstanding for a bloke like me, because the gauze panel at the front showed everything, to be totally graphic as she’s shaved you (meaning I) could see the top of the lippy bits and clit hood before the lower part of the lippy bits were covered by the gusset. She looked so hawt in that outfit and it was going to be a few early evening drink before early to home and a very late night.

Except it wasn’t to be.

We were joined at our table by some co-workers of mine, one of whom falls into the stereotype of creepy, computer programmer, social outcaste, MRA, gamergate and desperately useless with women around. Sadly a broken, flawed individual. I was sympathetic to him as during one drunken evening he’d opened up about childhood sexual abuse at the hands of his vicar grandfather. Don’t get the guy wrong, he didn’t suffer from any autism spectrum illness, he knew how to behave in company and was intelligent enough to know societal mores. If you need to envision further, think Richard Stallman merged with Steven Frye, but only in his early thirties and shorter.

So were sitting there drinking and chatting all of a sudden he clambers under the table, DW is chatting with another young woman Sara. I and a couple of others are looking at this chump under the table and all of a sudden he goes.

She’s got white knicker and she’s got purple and you can see right through them.

This is the kind of behaviour I could possible expect form an eight year old boy, not a grown man. I got shirty at this point and dragged him out from under the table by his hair. Everyone is exclaiming and being offended, DW and Sara are both very upset. So it unfolded the way you could expect, he blamed it on my wife’s clothing, etc. So I gave him a good back handed slap across the face, nice and stingy. So he called the police wanting them to arrest me for assault. So the evening was ruined as we had to answer questions, statements corroborated, bored pissed off coppers who wouldn’t have to be doing paperwork, if some idiot could understand that entitlement and poor behaviour is not an excuse in the eyes of the law.