There are quite a lot of difficulties in the above statement, what is happiness? What is very active? Even what is a relationship? We, like most couples have a lot of complexities in our relationship, complicated further by having young children. So how does having an active sexlife help a relationship?
I believe that a number of ten year old couples would consider we do it quite frequently, we average four days in every week, given the difficulties that we have as a couple (the things that we do that the other dislikes) is the sex life keeping us together? I would like to think that sex isn’t a deal breaker for us, but we haven’t tried that and the additional stresses it would bring, frankly I’m not really ready to think about that.
Before I go further I’m going to answer my own question, active sex is only an indicator of happiness if it’s a shared consensual enthusiastic agreement. That is both partners want it equally on shared terms and are equal stakeholders in the activity.
I would say that the above is a good indicator of a happy relationship, both are equal partners in the escapade.
So are we happy? Would we be happy without the sex? I would say that the difficulties of everyday life, paying bill, managing children and the workplace dent our happiness. If we had a decent financial buffer say two years rent, bills and grocery then we could be happier as most of our time and energy is devoted to getting through the rigours of London life.
So I don’t think more frequent active sex creates happiness, I think it shows that we are quite connected physically and emotionally and we enjoy each others company but we could do more to build happiness into our family (listening to each other, being empathic and respectful to one another as examples), but what would happen if we took the sex (and by that I mean all sex including masturbation) away. It would challenge us to find ways to be connected but other than a short term change in behaviours I don’t think that our relationship would change.