This idea that women withhold sex for some hidden political agenda is a false meme. People do not withhold sex for that reason. When you consider that the vast majority of men are very bad at basic mechanisms of sex, they on average last less than five minutes when actively engaged in sex are average or less than average in regards to penis size and most importantly of all detached from the emotional and psychological frameworks that cause the environment from sex.
So lets start with why I, a very heterosexual, sexually very active man would withhold sex. Plain and simple I would be having contentious emotional feeling towards my wife. I can think of only one point in time in the last eighteen months where I have withheld sex from my wife. We went through a difficult ten days where an irreconcilable difference came to light (she’d taken a lot of debt without considering the wider scope of the family), I became emotionally detached and ambivalent bordering on dislike.
Presently, we engage in sex four out of seven days per week, during our marriage that figure has gone up or down, even when my wife was undergoing chemotherapy we were frequent lovers (this was at her behest I might add as it made her feel loved and normal during a difficult period). Other than the difficulty described above neither of us has withheld sex from each other. So why don’t we? It’s mainly because we are emotionally connected to one another, we can each tell when the other is not up for it and what’s the point of having sex when there is no emotion or feeling? Isn’t that borderline rape?
So men don’t understand that withholding is caused by low feelings by the woman to the man, even in fuck buddy relationships the woman will have some reason to feel emotionally low towards the man in question. Just because a man feels he wants it doesn’t mean he’s entitled to it – it just doesn’t work that way.
My wife had a recent example of this stupidity from a former colleague/acquaintance. This chap who is in his mid 50’s, thinks he’s a player/pick up artist/idiot who having seen his photo has not aged well and is a short unattractive Puerto Rican American. My wife saw on his facebook page that he was coming to London from where he works in the Czech Republic. She sent him a message saying it would be interesting to catch up, so this is how it degraded from that point onwards.
Him: totally misunderstanding “yeh! lets hook up I’ll be staying at x hotel Kensington”
DW: “No, we’ll meet at lunchtime”
Him:”come to my hotel why not?”
DW: “I’m married with two children, I want to catch up on how everyone else is doing, Come round for dinner, meet my husband and children”
Him: a few more sulky petulant demands to go to his hotel.
As she pointed out, he wasn’t the brightest, wasn’t averagely attractive and as she once saw him skinny dipping at a party rather small and as she knew some of his ex-girlfriends and their complaints, spectacularly shite in bed. Yet for some reason he thought at the drop of a hat, misinterpret a situation as he was entitled to something.
What the idiot really didn’t realise was that his Czech Republic salary wouldn’t last an afternoon in Kensington let alone a weeks pulling while staying in a hotel of Grosvenor road.
So, dear men of the blogosphere, women are withholding simply because they are just not that into you. Just because you are male, does not make you interesting, intelligent, kind, thoughtful, attractive and basically decent enough to fuck.