How to very simply fuck up macaroni cheese by being to clever by half.

It’s a simple dish, boiled macaroni and a cheese flavoured roux sauce. A roux is a piece of piss to make, melt butter stir in a flour (cornflour in my case reduces cooking time) add milk stir in slowly to form a sauce add cheese, Coleman’s mustard, salt and pepper.

Except, I tried to be too clever by half. There’s this Cretan dish called Stakka which is basically a fried melted cheese curd dish. Inspired, for a mac n cheese alternative I melted some butter, added some double Gloucester cheese (actually it’s more like putty than cheese) let it melt together. At this point I should have cut my losses and added it to the macaroni and dished up. Nah! I had to carry on pushing the envelope of mac n cheese. So I added milk, the whole thing separated, so bow I try to cook my way out of a problem, you know like when you’re on a 750+ cc bike you can speed your way out of a traffic problem.

So I carry on stirring, add cornflour, it turns into a thick lumpy pale yellow alien gloop, more milk stir, stir, stir. I’m thinking fuck this now, it only for bloody children they’re not gourmets at the best of times, McDonalds extruded chicken slurry deep fried is quality scoff for them.

So I walkaway for a bit, have a fag (cigarette for you septics not a member of the LGBT community who’s walking past) and left it to cook slowly. When I came back it had actually worked. So I poured off the water and mixed in the sauce.

It’s obviously worked as it’s being scoffed right now.