He’s the nicest gay man I’ve met

This was a phrase said to my wife today, it made me laugh in a wry way (try saying that five times fast). She was regaling her first day at her new job and her new boss used the above sentence. It makes me amused hat someone could say that. Lets explore the sentence.

So how many men has this person met who have been nice yet do not make their sexuality known. It also implies that every other gay man he’s met hasn’t been nice. Does the qualification of sexual preference even matter? No, if I was to say “oh! she’s a lovely yellow scarfie diesel dyke” the whole world would go. What the fucking fuck!!!. And deservedly so.

Should sexuality gender, colour and religion be used in the qualification of someone’s behavioural qualities and actions?  No, it shouldn’t.

If I was to say my partner is an awesomely hot  fuck and is outstanding in bed, does it matter that I nominate gender. Ok! you can make assumptions and you are allowed to. I personally believe that


preference is fluid. My partner may change their sexual orientation as they continue to grow and discover themselves. I may change too. What does matter in these circumstances is that we are open and honest and non-judgemental.

So chummy bog today made a massive judgement call and in the process gave away his biases. Which for my wife is a good thing, it gives her the opportunity to read him and manage his behaviours in a way that will suit herself.

In the space of 7 hours this man has given enough away for her to understand the darker more dangerous aspects of his personality.