I often see that in relationship and sex posts, that tired old chestnut of “how many sex partners”. In the here and now of a relationship it doesn’t matter. What happened before serves no purpose in affecting the present. Irrespective of a persons past it is the life time of your current relationship that only matters.
You get involved with someone because of the set of circumstances, the attractions and the feelings you have as you become involved. Frankly, a persons history is immaterial as your life together move forward, the past does not predict the future, it doesn’t even give an indicator of what may come.
So you become involved with someone not for what they’ve done, but for who they are. What they will become is a future which isn’t bound by the past. I slept with over ten times the number of women, compared to the number of men my wife slept with prior to the start of our relationship.
The start of a relationship should be like the creation of the space/time. The big bang if you’re an atheist or creation if you’re a god orientated person. It has started and your space time moves forward in a linear fashion. There are theorists who like to speculate what happened before time began, but there is nothing in the way of hard evidence and facts.
Do I care that my wife had sex with people before me -no, I don’t. Actually she only had sex with men, the only thing I’m “ished” by is that she never had sex with women. It would be the icing on the cake for me if we could do comparative analysis of the enjoyment of pussy eating.
I know what her history is, I’m not bothered. To be honest she should write about it. She’s had some quite exotic (not erotic somehow I opened her up to the erotjc) sex. A nine inch Nigerian in Tokyo, an eleven inch Somalian in Istanbul (wow, I would have loved to have watched that). A rather unfortunate threesome with two Columbians – she had not agreed to that and could have been a violation of her if she hadn’t of done a bunk. She’s had bigger than me, longer & skinnier, shorter and wider but ultimately that’s not the deal maker.
Admittedly, she made a bit of a faux pas in our first few days as she asked my number and told me hers. I was never interested I don’t have any feelings towards what the or a number is. The only exception is that her ex wouldn’t believe that she’d split up with him. Even though she’d moved out and moved country and didn’t want to see him. Her only mistake was being nice enough to take his calls. Even after she got engaged, married and hadn’t seen him for a year, he still wouldn’t give up.
People should be pleased that their partners have life experience when they get together, it means that you move forward gaining new experiences together. As an example, isn’t it better for a man to have gained the intimate knowledge of making a woman cum by going down prior to getting to grips with his partners bits and what to know about that could be problematic. The same applies in non-hetro relationships. Isn’t it better that your boyfriend knows how to give a blowjob and that he has a poor gag reflex and a bit too much mouth fucking will make him barf.
Before I got together with my wife, I discovered all the things that I could do. I’m not that over keen on pegging. Fortunately, DW doesn’t want to strap on a Strap-on, so rather than disappoint her during the act. I can happily say nope, don’t wanna do it. She discovered that she can’t swallow cum. Isn’t it better that we know our sexual limitations before the start of a relationship and are able to vocalise likes and dislikes.
It is a difficult negotiation when one partner finds something they want to do and the other finds it distasteful. Good old anal sex in a relationship is often problematic, especially at porn has now made it a mainstream hetro activity. Having tried dildos up the butt in the past, I know full well why my wife’s ringpiece isn’t up for it. It’s an interesting pain, just like a constipated shit, so why pressurise my wife into it when she doesn’t like it.
What we both knew before we go together is that we like fucking, most of her ex’s thought she was a rockstar fuck, most of my ex’s said similar stuff. When we fucked together for the very first time it was pretty awesome for both of us, it didn’t take long before we got engaged, got married had kids, ten years on we still at it like rabbits. We have our ups and downs, yet tonight DW is looking forward to an oral cum and I’m looking forward to doing it.
So for all those people who get worked up about their partners pasts, so what, you are in the here and now and enjoying your partner, don’t knock yourself out getting worked up about nothing.