I found this to be rather yuck,


I like sex, but somehow I couldn’t stoop to this. There is something rather distasteful about it. Sure it’s a variant of masturbation and everyone does it differently, yet this or the purchased version something like a Tenga Or Fleshlight I find yuck.

Yet by the same token, I would like to watch my wife use a dildo or for her to use vibrators. So why do I have a double standard? My wife isn’t interested in Sex toys. When she was single, she never owned one. She’s tried some out while we’ve been together and it’s not really been her thing. The male equivalent of sex toys is a bit, well not on a par with the products for women.

So what this video highlights for me, is that I have to alter my behaviour. Last night, I said to DW I’d like to watch her use a toy on herself. Now this morning after watching that clip makes me realise that if I’m not prepared to do something don’t ask someone else, because they could feel the same.


Honesty about historic sexual relationships, should history change the present?

I often see that in relationship and sex posts, that tired old chestnut of “how many sex partners”. In the here and now of a relationship it doesn’t matter. What happened before serves no purpose in affecting the present. Irrespective of a persons past it is the life time of your current relationship that only matters.

You get involved with someone because of the set of circumstances, the attractions and the feelings you have as you become involved. Frankly, a persons history is immaterial as your life together move forward, the past does not predict the future, it doesn’t even give an indicator of what may come.

So you become involved with someone not for what they’ve done, but for who they are. What they will become is a future which isn’t bound by the past. I slept with over ten times the number of women, compared to the number of men my wife slept with prior to the start of our relationship.

The start of a relationship should be like the creation of the space/time. The big bang if you’re an atheist or creation if you’re a god orientated person. It has started and your space time moves forward in a linear fashion. There are theorists who like to speculate what happened before time began, but there is nothing in the way of hard evidence and facts.

Do I care that my wife had sex with people before me -no, I don’t. Actually she only had sex with men, the only thing I’m “ished” by is that she never had sex with women. It would be the icing on the cake for me if we could do comparative analysis of the enjoyment of pussy eating.

I know what her history is, I’m not bothered. To be honest she should write about it. She’s had some quite exotic (not erotic somehow I opened her up to the erotjc) sex. A nine inch Nigerian in Tokyo, an eleven inch Somalian in Istanbul (wow, I would have loved to have watched that). A rather unfortunate threesome with two Columbians – she had not agreed to that and could have been a violation of her if she hadn’t of done a bunk. She’s had bigger than me, longer & skinnier, shorter and wider but ultimately that’s not the deal maker.

Admittedly, she made a bit of a faux pas in our first few days as she asked my number and told me hers. I was never interested I don’t have any feelings towards what the or a number is. The only exception is that her ex wouldn’t believe that she’d split up with him. Even though she’d moved out and moved country and didn’t want to see him. Her only mistake was being nice enough to take his calls. Even after she got engaged, married and hadn’t seen him for a year, he still wouldn’t give up.

People should be pleased that their partners have life experience when they get together, it means that you move forward gaining new experiences together. As an example, isn’t it better for a man to have gained the intimate knowledge of making a woman cum by going down prior to getting to grips with his partners bits and what to know about that could be problematic. The same applies in non-hetro relationships. Isn’t it better that your boyfriend knows how to give a blowjob and that he has a poor gag reflex and a bit too much mouth fucking will make him barf.

Before I got together with my wife, I discovered all the things that I could do. I’m not that over keen on pegging. Fortunately, DW doesn’t want to strap on a Strap-on, so rather than disappoint her during the act. I can happily say nope, don’t wanna do it. She discovered that she can’t swallow cum. Isn’t it better that we know our sexual limitations before the start of a relationship and are able to vocalise likes and dislikes.

It is a difficult negotiation when one partner finds something they want to do and the other finds it distasteful. Good old anal sex in a relationship is often problematic, especially at porn has now made it a mainstream hetro activity. Having tried dildos up the butt in the past, I know full well why my wife’s ringpiece isn’t up for it. It’s an interesting pain, just like a constipated shit, so why pressurise my wife into it when she doesn’t like it.

What we both knew before we go together is that we like fucking, most of her ex’s thought she was a rockstar fuck, most of my ex’s said similar stuff. When we fucked together for the very first time it was pretty awesome for both of us, it didn’t take long before we got engaged, got married had kids, ten years on we still at it like rabbits. We have our ups and downs, yet tonight DW is looking forward to an oral cum and I’m looking forward to doing it.

So for all those people who get worked up about their partners pasts, so what, you are in the here and now and enjoying your partner, don’t knock yourself out getting worked up about nothing.

Only a couple of days to go

So over the last few weeks, me and DW have been trying for sex every day. It’s not an easy challenge, especially having a young family, daily commutes, general children faffing and London life.

This week if we get jiggy tonight and tomorrow night we will have had sex every day… yay! I was reading a blog by a married woman who reckoned that she and her husband have sex 16 times a week. Harrump! I find that difficult to believe. Ok morning, evening with additional lunchtime sex at the weekend would equal 16, I guess it depends on peoples criteria. Saturday for example we had oral sex four times and penetrative sex twice. Is that six times in a day or just a day when we had sex. Does DW flashing her bits at me count or a morning stroke and squeeze of my cock count or a crafty hand slip of my hand down her knickers and then tasting her juices on my fingers count.

Obviously things like periods, tiredness and coughs and sneeze get in the way. Plus overactive children who don’t want to go to sleep. We always wait until the kids are in bed or completely occupied downstairs. They are getting to the age where they want to know why mummy and daddy want private golden time or why they can hear “jumping on the bed” noises coming from our bedroom. As they get older the parental sauciness will need to decrease. Bummer.

This is one of the areas that we, as parents, need to be careful about. The last thing we want to do is expose the children, unnecessarily, to sex. There is going to be plenty of situations where we will have to deal with it from external sources. Our eight year old won’t watch Timber by Pitbull because she thinks its wrong that Ke$ha is running around outside in her knickers (she prefers the just dance version on xbox). Given that there was a report recently that English kids as young as eleven are sharing porn on their phones and school teens are doing amateur porn. Then there are going to be enough situations where they will be exposed to sex and we, sure as shit, don’t want to expose them to their parents getting down and dirty. I had enough of that as a kid, watching my mother getting fucked by various blokes at the same age as ours are now. All that did was make me lack respect for my mother as her first house only had one bedroom and I slept in a single bed to one side of the room. That is fucking shameful of her to treat a child like that.

So here we are coming to the end of our challenge. It’s do-able, certainly, but environmental factors are going to put an end to it. Ho hum… only 13 years to go and they’ll be at university. Then in my sixties and my wife in her fifties we can get sexy again.

The complexities of an active sex life when your kids are primary school age

I got home after my wife got home from work, I had taken the kids to Westfield’s our local shopping mall, to get our eldest to try on uniforms. Since she’s been diagnosed with Psoratic Arthritis and has been on steroid treatment she’s ballooned. It’s quite depressing seeing one of your children, who is only eight expanding in size. One of the key things we have done, since the start of the treatment is to provide only fruit, tomatoes and cucumber as snacking food, yet the weight piles on.

So the sprogs were in the living room and DW are in the kitchen chatting. We’ve currently set ourselves a challenge to have sex every day, I say to her lets go upstairs to the bedroom and have a shag. She thinks for a moment and goes “ok then”. Off we go to the bedroom, as we go upstairs, the kids are watching TV, drawing and playing logo. DW tells the kids we need some private time to work on my CV and not to disturb us for half an hour.

So we get into the bedroom, quickly sort of strip, DW still has one leg in her jeggings, I’ve struggling with my belt and dropping my Levis, she’s now on the futon, with her fingers in her pussy opening herself up. I’m now between her legs getting myself into position to enter her. She offers me her fingers, covered in pussy juice, going “see how wet I am, taste me”. I thrust into her and within a few strokes, there is this massive stomping on the stairs, like a herd of baby elephants. DD1 shouts, “going to the toilet”. DD2 is shouting “I don’t want to be alone”. Thump, thump, thump, bang, bang, bang. Suddenly, the bedroom door starts to open. I pull out of DW, she drags a sheet over her and DD2 appears.

DD1 finishes in the toilet and anounces she wants to play games on the PC in the next room. DD2 asks why we’re not wearing jeans, DW starts to tell them to go downstairs, DD1 argues that its not fair as she want to play games. My cock is resting on DW’s hip soaking wet, she’s shoeing the youngest out of the bedroom whilst keeping herself covered. Finally, our two acquiesce and sulk off downstairs. Finally, we can get back to doing it.

Blimey O’Reilly,  what a chore to have a shag. Thankfully, DW is damn good in bed and I’m fairly good too. Ten, fifteen minutes of hard pounding and I’m getting out of breath, DW is flinching as I’m going a bit too deep for her preference. The annoyance factor was that we were a bit too tense to cum. Hearing the squabbling from downstairs over some trivial thing. It dents the fun of a quicky shag. But, hey I’m happy I was inside a beautiful woman’s delicious pussy, hot wet and wrapped around me, what else could a man ask for.

So there you have it, the ups and downs, ins and outs of having a sex life and a young family.

Lift app, daily habit reminder and builder

I installed the Lift app and joined the sex everyday goal. It a bit of an ambitious goal as it involves two people and trying to get things in sync is not that easy.

So far we’ve achieved it four out of every seven days. It’s an ambitious goal as tiredness, illness, drunkenness, children and periods get in the way of achieving it. All part and parcel of a modern family life.

It’s a pretty complicated one to achieve, especially as it’s my goal, not DW’s. She does enjoy sex quite a lot, but our priorities are flipflopped over it, she’ll prioritise drinking everyday over sex everyday, I’ll prioritise sex over drinking. Somehow our priorities are wrong. There are much more important¬† priorities than drinking and sex. Happy, health, well-adjusted, educated and responsible family is a more important priority.

The thing is is that we both use drink and sex as stress relief and because we don’t have a safety net, those being a money buffed and a help buffer, we are constantly under low-level stress and worry.

How could we remove those stressors? First would be to save some money, create a three month money buffer. Living in London with, rents, transport and general living costs a comfortable buffer would be in the region of 5-10k. Our weekly outgoing on just general stuff, breaks down as follows:
Rent: 300.
council tax: 50.
tv/telcon/internet/satellite: 50.
water: 12.5.

So we are already spending ¬£500 a week just for the basic privilege of living in London. So a three month buffer would be the minimum of 6k. That’s without food or other items to make life bearable with a young family.

The next issue is how to get that buffer on one income. Every time we get close to stability something come along to shaft us, a debt, a bill, a birthday a trip or event, growing children who need new clothes. Those things build up and eat away at an attempt at saving.

The next thing is, is that I could return to work and we’d have a double income, yet that is immediately eaten into by childcare costs and the fact that schools and childcare don’t match the basic working day.

It’s difficult, because the stress and worry of both of us working and the stressors it puts on the children feeds our bad behaviours for dealing with stress, mine is sex, DW’s is booze. I know it sounds trivial but sex is less damaging than alcohol, in my mind mainly because sex is short lived and alcohol alters the senses.

So what is the outcome of this? Somehow we need to reduce spending, start saving.

Living with an alcoholic wife, some of the difficulties.

My wife’s drinking is escalating again, this week she’s consumed nearly 100 units of alcohol. Actually 93 units to be absolutely precise, well those are the ones I know about. I can’t remember the last time we had sex with her being sober, probably five years ago when she was pregnant.

I’m stopping being angry about the drinking, it does me no good. She hides from the damage it’s doing to her and the family. I grew up with alcoholic parents, they were much worse than her. Sadly, her alcoholism damages not just her but those around her.

If I was posting this on something like mumsnet, I’d get the casual LTB that is often handed out, but as anyone knows who lives with an alcoholic partner and parent, its bloody tough. Especially as I’m the stay at home parent with no income of my own.

I’d like her to go to AA just so she can have a shared experience of meeting other alcoholics and I’d like her to go back to her alcohol therapy group. She needs to take some responsibility, some understanding of the damage it does and to grow up a little.

Tonight, I’m having difficulties sleeping, she seems to think that by bribing me with a blowjob makes the problem go away. It won’t. My resentment over her alcoholic selfishness, will grow until I loose my temper and snap again. Then we are back to square one. Especially as far as the children are concerned. They are already on a child protection plan cause by me snapping several times last year, one of which culminated with me punching her.

I wish I had a recipe of how to solve this.