Having an awesome talent.

I had a mate who could suck his own cock, he’d put his feet against a wall do something like a crunch situp and pop his cock in his mouth.

I once mentioned it to a girlfriend, she bet me I couldn’t do it. Actually it had never crossed my mind. I don’t mind my own cum, but that’s been through snowballing or cream pie eating (my own of course doh!).

Anyway I had a try and a disc slipped… Oh My Ocelots, did it hurt. Bloody agony!

Anyway my awesome talent. I can swallow bananas whole, I have no gag reflex. In the 80’s I worked as a cocktail barman in a club. Mondays was gay night and the amount of tips I would make showing off my talent. I eventually learned to cough them up as after two it really hurt my stomach. There was often a crowd to see it.

I enjoyed working the cocktail bar, the amount of casual sex I got was pretty good. One night a girl was egging her mate on to give me a blowie, it was quite funny cos she said in this Irish brouge “I can’t get any of your cock into my mouth”.

Another time a girl was kneeling under the bar trap door whilst I was pouring drinks sucking me. One thing I will say about casual drunken bar blowjobs is that I got quite a few bite injuries.

But then my poor old cock has been through the mill, I was once having an affaire with a woman who was married to a black chap, she was white and a bit chunky, with a dodgy bart simpson tattoo.

Her hubby was away on business and we were having a good fuck on their waterbed. I got on to my back, she was standing up to get on top, which caused a huge ripple in the bed and she fell right on to of my cock.

I saw stars, the pain way immense and I passed out. The following morning my cock was purple and black with bruises. She woke up too and said, “well my crotch usually hurts after we’ve done it but boy this bad… oooo! It looks nearly like my hubby’s now”. So of I went to A&E it was agony, I couldn’t put my pants on. The doctor gave me some steroidal ointment and told me to behave. About a week later, the pain had died down and I was in the gym changing area. This gay chap who “liked” me was looking at my cock and said, “can you loose the colour, but keep the size”. I told him not to be a cheeky racist sod. He was a terrible flirt, always following me. Once he pointed his little stiffy at me in the shower and grinned. It wasn’t pleasant.

I’ve always found it interesting cock watching in gyms, it has been about 8 years since I last went, but I doubt it’s changed much in twenty years I was actively training. The biggest I ever saw was this chap’s whose cock was nearly three quartets down his thigh. He spent most of his time rubbing it with vaseline, whether it was to entice men or show off I never asked. I never saw him work out though.

The smallest ones were, well, quite odd. I can understand why women do talk about small problems, I am sympathetic for both sides of this problem and it must be crushing for for the men.

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