I’ve messed up a lot, actually by a huge amount. I’ve looked at how I’ve miss-managed my life and the impact its had on those around me.
I think too much,
I cave in rather than enthusiastically commit, then do the “I told you so” routine.
I miss the moment by under committing.
I go against my instincts, and now I’m so overwhelmed by problems.
I don’t know how anymore to affect change.
I’ve messed up so much and made such terrible mistakeS and hurt the ones closest to me, that I’m locked into “when in doubt: do now’t” (now’t is a Midlands, Northern England dialect word for nothing).
I’m full of regret for the things I haven’t done and I’m bitter and resentful for the things I have done.
And more so, so badly want to recover from these;
A stone after it’s thrown.
A word after it’s said.
An occasion after it’s missed.
Time after it’s gone.
Trust after it’s lost.