Failing to communicate over the simplest or smallest of things

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Tees pencil skirt @ joyous.

I saw the above skirt and I thought it would suit DW, she’d look good in a nice top and dark stockings.

I spotted it in a feed reader, so I shared the link with her via hangouts. We’re sitting in the same room, she’s about two and a bit metres from me.

I know she got the like, cos her phone went binqbonk for the notification, she picked her phone up and said…

Nothing.

Not a by your leave, fuck all, nada.

Why the fuck do I bother, she obviously doesn’t give a shit about communicating to me.

So I waited 5 minutes, she now watching some crap on youtube. So I loose the plot, I’m fucking pissed off by this, so I challenge.

Why haven’t you said anything?!?!?

Don’t see why I should.

Oh for fucks sake …

Does she think I’ve got nothing better to do? I could be looking at 20 something naked chicks, or Linux containers or network intrusion or current affairs relating to oil/energy futures.

No I spotted a skirt she’d look good in, over the next few years she has a choice, up her game as far as her career is concerned, or coast and descend.

Thing is she’s late 30’s, things haven’t been good for her of late, loosing a breast, fucks any woman’s self image. How can you get round that, up your game and take pride in your looks.

All I’ve ever done is try to support her, I can empathise about her crashed self image, and what I try to do is to show her ways she can improve her self image.

Frankly, I get to see her naked, I have no illusions as to what her self image is, she can avoid a mirror.
But, irrespective she is orders of magnitude more gorgeous to my eyes, than any blond blue eyed Caucasian porn dolly. As they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

So when I reach out and go “you’d look good in this” being ignored is like a slap in the face, even if it was a negative,  “meh! don’t like it” its better than a void.

At times I’m convinced she wants to push me into the arms of another, or to wash my hands of this and find someone who I don’t have to put in as much effort and is a little more appreciative. Well actually I don’t want that, pulling, hooking up, dating is a piece of piss now-a-days.

But I don’t want to, I made a commitment to this person ten years ago. For all of the screwing around I did before her, I packed that person up and for better or worse, I will support her.

I’m no angel, I’m very shouty, blunt and in your face. But I do care, I care about her alot, I’ve fucked up things in my own right.

But the bottom line is this, reactive responsive communication is a two way thing.

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