I’m on a roll at the moment, don’t know what it means but I hope we continue

Our sexlife has taken quite an interesting turn, I’ve lost quite a chunk of weight and I’m no where near as fit as I was when we married, but DW has internally orgasmed again tonight.

I’m guessing its because my belly has gone down, we’re better able to get into the right coital alignment position. We’ve had sex seven times in the last ten days and she’s cum five times … wow I’m impressing myself. Not that I’m counting, well yes I am, it’s quite important to me. Before DW I was never that interested in how the other person felt about having sex with me.

I never enquired or asked. It’s not that I wasn’t interested, I’ve always hoped that people enjoyed sex with me just that I’ve always felt that by asking it put someone on the spot and they could be embarrassed to say how they actually felt. I’ve had women scream, yelp, grunt, whoop, fart, poop and widdle themselves while in bed with me (the latter was before the squirting phenomena became popular). The pooping one was spectacularly horrendous, I was underneath in a 69 when the woman lost control of her bowels … it was as horrible as you can imagine.

In the past I often assumed that the ones making huge amounts of noise were probably faking it, you know keeping up appearances. DW told me that she used to make loads of noise faking it for exes because that’s what they expected, she’d never actually had an orgasm with someone until I came along. She vividly remembers our first week in bed, what a surprise it was. She doesn’t make any real noise when cumming, she just tenses, the upper half of her body from belly to face go bright scarlet and she digs her nails into my arms, back, bum etc. At the moment my upper arms are in shreds.

It’s funny thinking about past endeavours, I’ve had women say to me “make me cum again”, ‘scuse me love I’m not sure I did in the first place, no need for any pressure. DW claims I’ve ruined her for any other man, the 50 odd fellas before me never hit the spot. I’ve always thought that that phrase was a patriarchal control bullshit from trite Mills and Boon novels. I’ve had women say it in the past and I’ve always thought to myself, you don’t know until you move on with your life. Thinking of that though, in my “therapy” group there’s a young woman in her late twenties or early thirties who has been separated from her ex for nine years, nine years and still harps on about him. She hasn’t been laid by anyone else in that time, FFS, get a grip, go down the pub, find some joe, drop your knickers and get a pussy full of spunk, it’ll make you get over him.

Having said that blokes do the same, I once had a mate who whined at me for months about his girlfriend dumping him. Didn’t he just go on and on about it. In the end I snapped and told him to grow up and find himself a shag even if he had to pay for it. Sadly, he didn’t know that in the six month period between them splitting and me snapping, I’d fucked her myself. It was nice, nothing outstanding, pretty vanilla, she had a nice athletic body and we did it two or three times. Once after a shag he rang her up to gripe about them not getting back together, she then wanted another really hard fuck ‘cos she was angry.

I did just think of another semi amusing, probably bathetic story of shagging and phone calls. I was having an affaire with a married woman many years ago. She was a real size queen and a cock collector, she was a rather tubby white girl married to a Jamaican Systems Analyst and we were in bed while he was working in another city. She was a very dirty girl, on this particular occasion she was deep throating me while she had a big dildo inside her. The phone went and it was her hubby, so she starts talking dirty to him and shhsing me and climbing on top all at the same time. She starts to tell him she’s using a dildo on herself, while she’s riding me quite hard with one hand over my mouth to keep me quiet and to steady herself. It was quite fun.

Damn, having written all that all I can say at this point is that I hope what goes around doesn’t come back to haunt me.

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