SAD, therapy, loneliness, neediness of children and arthritis

I’m having a bad day, the weather is miserable in London today, SAD seems to last nine months of the year now with only little patches of sunlight.

My arthritis is fucking up my ability to do stuff, its so difficult to pickup small bits of stuff dropped by the children, my youngest is being needy, “I want sweets, i want marshmallows, i want chocolate” I have none of that and don’t have the money to go to the shop, plus my eldest is still asleep, so I cant go to the shop anyway. 

I’m feeling very depressed, very down, its nearly June and its dark and cold, I’ve had to put on the central heating.

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Motivation at work, a goal, a role and a reason for self confidence

Yesterday, I became a startup. I’ve been pretty fed up with being an employee as the goals constantly shift and the goal of be a little cog in the business machine has dented my motivation.

Being a cog doesn’t really fit with family life, work is much more needy than children. In early, leave late do this, do that, do the other just for a pay packet. When both parents work in such environments, the work life balance gets out of kilter.

The roles are ill defined as well, be this sort of software engineer now be that because the business doesn’t know what its doing or what it wants. Match no goal with no role and bosses who sap your self-confidence because they equate bulling to motivating. You end up with a recipe for immolating your own job.

So yesterday, I created a goal, start my own business so that I can work around my family for their benefit. The role is my own leadership, the self confidence comes for providing an excellent service with the prime beneficiaries being a happy family.

I set about designing a flyer and a business card using vista print, that took an hour or two. Next I set up a website again another hour, so far I’ve spent less than gbp 100, much less in fact, £48. This morning I set too identifying the businesses I want to target in London, using a combination of Google maps and Linkedin. My target if 100 names and addresses of CEO’s, directors and heads of …. So far today I have 50. Next, I’m handwriting an introduction letter to post to them directly with the flyer and business card. So far I’ve done 10.

Once I have 25 handwritten letters, I’ll post them out and set to with the next 25 and so on until I’ve sent all 100. If I get 2% conversion rate, not bad.

Two gigs at a k per day will be very good indeed. The problem for me would be a much higher conversion rate. Information I’ve found has been around 4.4%, which would be a work overload, higher than that and I would have to undergo rapid expansion.

I’m going for the hand written mailshot as its a differentiator in this day and age of coldcalls and spam. If I can take the time to handwrite I can take the time to do a good job.

Fingers crossed this isn’t just a chunk of bullshit on my part. 

Children, they have a way of totally denting your sexlife

image

I found these two in a 99p store, they are a knockoff of the popular children’s bug toy, thing is they have a really powerful vibrator and little silicon fronds. So I was planning on placing (possibly gaffer taping) them either side of DW clit while I eat her pussy tonight. Being a bit inventive, like.

First off the DD’s spotted them. Next DD1 wants to sleep with mummy tonight, DD2, who is a bit ill, wants to sleep on the sofa, while I sleep on the other sofa.

/sigh/ I was hoping on giving DW a few cums tonight, internal and external … but it looks like the children have other plans.

I like being inventive when it comes to shagging, lights off vanilla shagging is A-OK but every now and again, something a bit different. DW is much more down the vanilla path, some times I’d like to shackle and blindfold her and spend hours toying in different ways

with her naked body

.

Other times I would like to cuff her hands behind her back, insert a buttplug and give her a home made DP. Our wedding night was quite cool, we fuck for around ten hours, fucked in the shower, on the bed in a leather armchair, she had a buttplug in for a while, fuck it was a sexy night.

Money and kids, just get in the way. We would love to have a date day at a boutique hotel, but no money, no one to look after the sprogs and well sprogs.

Open Bottom Girdles, Seams, Pencil Skirts and Thongs a simple combination

Today I’m thinking that DW should wear more in the way of skirts to work, up her game a bit. So first we need the necessary undergarments

Kiyomi Lingerie Nylon Dreams

CALVIN KLEIN UNDERWEAR Icon stretch-satin thong Net-A-Porter

Apanage Satin Pencil Skirt Gray & Osbourn

Kiyomi Lingerie Rago

COMMANDO Stretch thong Net-A-Porter

Almari Lace Pencil Dress, White John Lewis

Kiyomi Lingerie Romance Pin Up

ASOS Boudoir Floral Print Thong

Pull-On Guipure Lace Pencil Skirt La Redoute

 

Finally the Cuban Heels

Eleganti Havana heel FF stockings – plain colours – RARE

Eleganti Point Heel Contrast Seam fully fashioned stockings – RARE PERFECTS

mustn’t forget the tops,

Givenchy ( a classic)

GIVENCHY Blouse yoox

VIKTOR & ROLF Blouse Yoox

I just saw this and had to include it

DECOTIIS Blouse Yoox

teamed with

Wolbar Coco Short Honey Bee lingerie

 

We were too tired, different sex drives and different timings

It’s been over 24 hours since we last got jiggy, yesterday we were both too tired. About three AM Thursday morning, I woke up to go to the toilet, when I got back into the bedroom, DW was asleep and naked. She was looking damn fine, she’s got a beautiful neat pussy, I did something at that point that is a violation of her personal space. I just had to kiss and snog her gorgeous bits. It’s wrong I know, she was asleep, but her body responded, she sleepily opened her legs a bit and mumbled something. So I sucked on her clit a bit more.

While I did this she reached down putting her hand on the side of my head, I carried on licking and she started to pull me up and open her legs more. She has a good natural fucking position, she likes to raise her knees and point her feet.

I got my cock up to her pussy and she was really wet and open, it was easy to slide into her. I think at this point she was only a third awake, she was muttering and mumbling. I went in fast and deep, she made that “ooofff” noise as I hit her cervix and felt my cock slide up to the right (my right, her left). As she was very relaxed, I kept on pulling all the way out and going deep in. Normally, we have a bit of a struggle to get it in, she’s got a pretty fit, strong pussy muscles, she does kegels alot and we work out her pussy with my cock several times a week.

The down side is that quickies are quite difficult,  as she needs a fair amount of foreplay to get her ready, its not as though I could lift her skirt, pop her on a work surface or table, pull her thong to one side and enter her, even with lube its a bit of an ouchie for her.

So, I was going for the pull all the way out and slam into her, we don’t fuck in that style often, because, obviously, ramming it home is painful. She raised her legs higher, she has the dancers style of fuck position, knees up, pointed feet. So we fucked like that until I blew a huge load, sadly, she was too sleepy to enjoy the squirt and flood, but I got to enjoy watching the cream pie flood out and down over her pussy and into her bum crack. I had to have a little taste, cos it looked fucking sexy and lucky me she lifter her hips so I could lick down further and I got to give her a little rimming. Tasting spunk and pussy juice with a side order of rimming is pretty darn sexy, I know its not to everyone’s taste but there you go.

As I stood up she went mmmm Mmm MMM, and reached for my cock, pulled me towards her and gave the tip/eye a kiss, and rolled over on to her side. I walked round to my side of the bed got in and we both fell asleep immediately.

I know we have interpersonal ups and downs as a married couple, but I think that our fucking style helps to keep us together. That and our vision for the family and that we have no one other than each other for support.