How not to care for your smartphone.

As I just discovered, do not drip mayo on to your screen and clean it by licking it off.

Your phone goes totally bonkers, flicking from one screen to the next, flashing up widgets and all manner of madness.

Obviously, it was phone screen sensory overload, perhaps I made android cum.

I’m not going to try it out on DW as I discovered many years ago, foodstuff and pussies are a very good way to give your partner thrush or a bacteriological infection.

I once put a chocolate bar in a girlfriends pussy and it fucked her, but not in the way either of us wanted.