Week 16:6

Anti-depressant withdrawal, I left my repeat prescription until the last minute. I took to my NHS surgery on Tuesday, it supposed to be a two day turn around, take it Tuesday get it Thursday. Except they changed the rules for the bank holiday weekend, I can’t collect it until Tuesday. Doctors, its a cushy number, do what you want to do and get paid shedloads along the way.

Frankly a doctor, who isn’t making bucketloads, is either too stupid to game the system, therefore I don’t want him or is being ethical. With the latter, they are too overworked and therefore I don’t want him.

For most outside of the UK, their notion of the NHS comes from Michael Moore’s documentary, but he doesn’t paint a full picture. Doctor’s in the NHS also do private practice where the only difference is you pay a lot to see them quicker and pay for the  expensive prescriptions that the NHS won’t provide. My wife for example is only prescribed Tamoxifen which isn’t the best for pre-menopausal women. If she went private she could choose the correct one (it begins with an A cant remember the name). Also, Tamoxifen is 30 years old, the drug company must have made a mint by now off the NHS.

But I digress, I ran out of anti-depressants on Wednesday evening, I’m tweaking now, I’ve become insomniac, I can feel the anxiety collywobbles, in my head and stomach and it’s not nice. My youngest is up and bouncy and tapping me, nudging me and trying to get my attention to play. I’ll have to be hyper-vigilant to ensure I don’t snap and take it out on her.

Not nice, not nice at all. My bowels feel like they are going to explode, I feel like I have blinkers on and most of all, my thoughts are a bit muddied. If this is what Its like undergoing forced withdrawal, you know the type where you come off the addictive substance in one fell swoop, rather than a controlled withdrawal no wonder alcoholics and addicts start start up again. Not looking forward to the rest of the bank holiday, roll on Tuesday.