Week 16:4

I’ve been procrastinating too much over the last few weeks, I’ve woken up this morning with a bad prescription drug hangover. Over the last few nights I’ve been sleeping really badly, fitfully, night sweats, odd dreams. So last night as I couldn’t get to sleep, I took an extra anti depressant on top of the one I’d taken.

Well, it didn’t do me any good, last night was really bad. Anyway, the children were up late as well, so hopefully I’ll get a bit of respite and clear my head before the get up.

We have to move in just over 14 weeks, and we haven’t really made a start. Our pain point for this is that we don’t want to have to pay two lots of rent during the move out move in period. Also we haven’t even started to pack. Must order some packing boxes today and make a start on the books.

DW has made some contact with letting agents so we are going in the right direction.

Oh! my head hurts, I irked someone in the BDSM community who rebloged one of my posts, they were really snotty, using words like ignorant, well no it wasn’t an ignorant post, I was annoyed by the BDSM community co-opting the word daddy, with reference to a man “controlling” a younger woman. I also had a friend who became involved in the BDSM community, too involved, it started to replace his day-to-day life, to the point he lost his job and his sub (i don’t really know the terminology).

My main gripe was that a relationship built on sex or a specific type of sex act, is a house built on sand. So this person, messaged me to tell me I’ve never had a relationship built on trust, honesty and transparency, and the told me she didn’t judge, making a decision about my relationships is very much a judgement call, love. So pot calling kettle black.

Its the same with people who decry monogamous relationships or people who proselytise about sex before marriage or this sick trend for slut-shaming. Yup! I made a judgement about the BDSM community, but as my original post pointed I had walked in their shoes, so I could make a judgement. And its my opinion. I didn’t say it was criminal, I didn’t say it was “sinful”, I said, in my usual convoluted style (which is probable difficult for some to take in), that a relationship base on one thing and one thing only, isn’t a true interpersonal relationship. People are faceted, complex,changeable.

I like Liver and onions, it makes DW physically sick. I haven’t had liver and onions in ten years, I miss it. But what type of relationship would. I/we have if I chose to be with someone just because the only thing we had in common was liver and onions. And its the same with sex, its only a facet of a relationship.