Last day of term

From this afternoon onwards it’s the school holidays. From the time I started this journal, I’m no closer to being organised or getting the family organised. In part that’s down to my ongoing depression, in part it’s down to indolence, in part it’s self-indulgence and introspection.

What things do I need to become more organised? A daily plan would be a good start, daily meal plans is another start. We graze to much, like lumpen herbivores on a savanna, we just wander and chew, wander and chew. Our diet is awful, nothing sensible, nothing nutritionally balanced. So step one organise what we will eat. But the thing is everyone something different and they want it now. Like the line from Viv Stanshaw’s Sir Henry at Rawlinson’s End. “Mrs. Eeee, I don’t know what I want but I want it NOW!”

I wish that my children were a little more obedient and had a little more personal discipline. But I don’t know how to make it happen. It stems from a fear of them being malnourished and giving them something they will enthusiastically enjoy and want to eat.

Somehow that’s become perverted into on demand feeding of what each one wants, so tonnes of food gets thrown away, plus because of our shortsighted money management we buy the wrong stuff.

Today, I’m going to make a start, draw up weeks meal plan and make a list accordingly. It will also mean cleaning out the fridge, freezer and cupboards to make way for efficient storage.

Another thing we end up spending an inordinate amount on worthless junk food, this is because DW gets “nibbly”, she wants to graze on junk, at work she’s constantly eating sweets, biscuits and crisps, so we end up with shitloads of crisps biscuits and crap food scattered around the house, no wonder we can’t have a sensible family meal together, she doesn’t want to eat so why should the children.

I know I won’t get support in doing this and it will go to hell in a handcart, I’ll give up again and the cycle will start over again.