There is only one moral that needs to be applied to sex by an individual. It must be consensual. And by that I mean that the other person must be consenting.
Before I got married, I got around a bit (quite a bit as this post will show). In our first few days together DW made a bit of a mistake, she asked how many people I’d had sex with.
Its a legitimate question in this day and age, but its a minefield question, you don’t know when the answer will blow up in your face.
When DW ask the question, I said I wasn’t prepared to answer, it was private between me and the individuals. Foolishly, DW when on to try to tell me how many partners she’d had. At that point I asked her to stop and think on this old adage, multiply a woman’s partners by two, divide a mans by three.
We are happily monogamous with each other, by the time we had got together we’d got the whole “grass is greener” sex thing out of our systems.
As an aside, here’s a story from many years ago that proves why I believe I’m right in not prying into someone’s sexual history.
I was working with this chap who was about five years younger than me. At the time I was 29. He was telling me all about his new girlfriend, when he suddenly asked. “Do you think I should ask x how many men she’s slept with?” I replied no, giving my reasoning from above.
He stopped for a moment and I could see the cogs working furiously in his head. He blurted out “that means she’s had sex with 21 other men”. I just said told you so, you never want to ask that. He then finished off with, “well one divided by three is still one”.
I didn’t know what to say at that juncture, I kept quiet and he fumed to himself.
The Long and the short of it, is that I hope I can teach my daughters to keep schtum, and not let any privet and personal information out.