On Lice

On Lice.
The bane of every parent with primary school children… well, we’ve eradicated lice. After three years at the independent school we have got rid of them in four (yes four) weeks (well three week debugging and four weeks into their new school).

At the independent school we were made to feel like pariahs, because they kept on blaming us for the lice. Sad to say we were in a minority, if it wasn’t bad enough to be made to feel like redneck, weiss-ponem, trailer-trash, we were also made to feel like mamzer schmutz, because our faith was minority too (only yiddisher family in the school). Every week it was a nagging from Mrs. Soup (name changed to protect from litigation) about us bringing lice into the school. Now we took the girls out of school at the start of half term so we had three weeks of extensive de-lousing before starting at the new State school.

And, the great thing is… no bugs. I used to get really annoyed by Mrs. Soup and her “welfare” officer Mrs. Lankhair (again name changed) going on about de-lousing. My family suffered from extensive de-lousing programme during the Shoah, my grandmother, her brother and her father were the only ones to escape.

You see what annoyed me more than anything was seeing the Naan’s picking up the grandkids and seeing lice crawling through their hair. What a lot of people don’t realise is that the elderly are one of the biggest vectors for lice transmission. They’ve had them for so many years that they have ceased to notice the scalp itching.

B’ezrat Hashem, we’ve seen the end to our three year infestation. The independent school has been such a millstone around our necks. My advice to anyone contemplating independent school, plan on burning £20k per annum per child and ensure you have a further £30k to handle all the pain points. At one point we were given a leaflet that for £2000 per head for a West London “clinic” that would eradicate lice permanently. Oh yes! and would that be using snake oil perhaps.

You know, on a tangential subject, how the world did a pair of uber-wealthy tools like the Goops screw up their marriage. For regular people all the normal stressors are removed, their joint wealth should be enough to get them over the humps in life, like getting to school, getting to work… they employ people FFS, to do the grunt work. Is a flight in first class between London and California just too much for their uber-healthy bodies to stand. Dafuk Barosh eh!

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