Multiple user profiles on laptops needs some work

We have four laptops, two operating systems and four profiles spread across them, the goal is that everyone has collective ownership and collective use.

Except, the amount of nursemaiding that goes into it is becoming too much. Ubuntu isn’t stable enough for general family usage and Windows, though much more stable, has its own issues.

This morning, my youngest wanted to use our eldest profile on windows, except something had happened to cause it to become locked. No idea what it was but still it happened. I did a hard reset and it’s all working again.

One of the Ubuntu laptops won’t play audio through the headphones, again no idea why.

In some respects collective ownership of computing is hellish and schools and businesses must have a hell of a time.

Computer management, like family management is a constant rush to firefight issues where you have no idea what caused them.

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On being treated for depression – Is it something I really want

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I’m undergoing treatment for depression, I have pills, I have a therapist as well, but I got to thinking this morning, perhaps I want to be depressed. Over the last five and a half years I’ve had difficulty doing stuff.

Predominantly it’s dealing with my wife and children and that extends outwards to the rest of the world. Somehow, I have this notion that we should work together and push down our own wants and needs for the greater good of the family. I also feel like I don’t get heard saying these thing, we should sublimate ourselves for the long term good.

There is too much no in our family, I do things that are asked of me that I don’t like. But it’s presented to me that, that is what’s needed and then later I find out that even though I’ve done my part, my wife has done something contrary to her own request. It very frustrating and very confusing

So anyway I got to thinking this morning, perhaps this is what I actually want, a just getting by, a hand to mouth existence. I know I’m suffering from depression  but I wonder if I’m letting depression get the better of me or that depression is what I want and this type of life is what I’ve created because subconsciously it is what I want.

Since I started this blog, which was an attempt to create an orderly well functioning family it’s gone to hell in a handcart. Children  are the real issue, they eat your time, eat your resources and take away your freedom to act. Especially when they get stroppy because they want their own way and you try to explain and they get more bloody-minded and strop more, until your at your wits end because a simple task like putting your damn coat on, causes you berves to fray and you want to lash out. Yet that brings even more problems, you end up with an emotional hangover because you know what everyone has done is wrong. It hasn’t been orderly and sensible.

I find now I have that situation everywhere I go and with everything I do, I’m constantly left with frustration because nothing appears to be sensible anymore. As I was walking home, the telecoms people have the road dug up, so there is only a narrow path. I saw a woman walking towards me I altered my course so that we wouldn’t bump into one another and there was enough space and she tutted about it. Further along two pissed East European blokes did the same.

Maybe my depression is making me over sensitive, maybe I should be more self-centered and not bother, but I feel that if I go down that route  I end up making the world a little worse off.

So what can I do? Frankly I have no idea, but I have to do something and somehow I have to get my family to buy in, not only in words but by deeds to.

My Xubuntu desktop – work in progress

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I’ve been working on (well I consider it so) a hypercool xubuntu desktop. It runs the XFCE window manager with the variety wallpaper manager. So far I’ve only used one custom icon in the top left corner for the whisker. The variety wallpaper manager includes the nice clock. In the bottom panel is a single launcher for chrome. Most stuff I do is in the terminal so that a ctrl alt T, so I don’t need fancy docks and stuff.

In my previous job my boss was a complete twat, though he was an uber Geek because he ran stock OSX and called his laptop thegeek… meh! what a wanker. He was totally flumoxed by my minimal desktop. I have to admit I think it might be a bit too much. The top right contains a set of info items, for network etc. The only thing I wouldnt do away with is variety and my 140 material design desktop wallpapers. I enjoy the revolutionary collectivist futurist art of the 1930 Soviet (see the Charnel House for much more info) and the Vortisist movement of Nineteen-teens of the 20 Century.

Things that I need to do is to create a full icon set, there are several sources for ideas such as the Google material Design Icon set, the Font Awesome Icon set and the noun project, but that will be for another day.

 

 

Gillette Embrace best razor for shaving you head if you have arthritic hands

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Best for your nut

The cost is disgraceful, it’s much more expensive to buy women’s razors than men’s. I discovered the other day that the razor my wive yses for her legs and bits, is so much nicer to hold when your shaving your head.

It’s got a large flat handle, which means that for old arthritic fingers like mine, it makes it easier to hold.

it’s annoying though that women have to pay more for essentially the same thing. The blade cartridge is much more expensive than the equivalent men’s blade cartridge. It’s annoying, frankly I think blokes should absorb the cost of waxing and shaving for women, frankly I think if you ask any woman the reasons and causes if shaving their pits, bits and legs it’s because they’ve been convinced to by men. You know the reasons in order of importance sex and everything else, women feel pressured by peers and men.

Don’t get me wrong, I find my wife’s lack of body hair sexy (but then just for variety I fantasise about her full bush). But the cost of it. I once had a chat with a woman who recond disposable cartridges should be disposed of every time. If I was to shave every day or even twice a day, that would be bloody expensive.

A blade cartridge can easily last 3 months before it blunts to the point of scrape. In some respects I feel sad for young women who are convinced by the style & beauty industry to part with more cash than they should.

Unemotional sex is by and far worse than a sexless relationship

I’m enjoying watching the Night Manager (the only time I’ve actively sought out a BBC show in 15 years), but there was a scene in episode 4 where our Chameleon Protagonist Johnathon/Thomas/Andrew shaged the American woman partner of Roper against a wall (sorry that’s not mention to be sexust I find the actors portrail of the female character to be insipid and unmemorable). It was empty, gratuitous vapid sex. An unzipping of the trousers, a lift of a skirt and thump, thump, thump squirt (him not her), done. It was a perfunctory add to the episode, the story would be much better if the worthless scene showing the male actors arse was implied rather than shown.

This year myself and DW have fucked intermittently, it’s week eleven and we’ve only done it around 20 times, just a little over three times a week (period time has knocked a couple of weeks). Last night’s has left me feeling a bit empty, we did it in the dark, vanilla missionary, she didn’t get into me going down in her and even though I could feel her tightness gripping me he warm soft interior (with the occasional hard bump against her cervix), it felt spark-less. This has left me feeling sad-bad. For all of our ups and downs, sex has remained consistently good – there has always been a passion in what we do.

Often I come across blogs where someone is complaint about a sexless marriage and how unfair it is, or because of the sexless nature of it, it becomes an Ashley Madison excuse. That annoys me no end, whybfoes it annoy me? Because, it’s down to me to find the way to out the spark into it. Talking with DW, she was saying that her bits were feeling a bit stubbly and she didn’t get her head into the right space to enjoy it. Still, it makes me feel rotten that I wasn’t doing enough to get her off. But that’s just people, sometimes your just not up for it.

This is one of the things that really gets to me about PUA’s and men’s gripesters, neither group seems tho be that interested in their partners wants needs and feelings. Like the scene in the Night Manager gratuitous empty sec adds nothing.

floral

floral

Floral dress
£44 – ladyvlondon.com

Floral shoes
£70 – zaful.com

Chinese Laundry floral shoes
£50 – dailylook.com

Gucci white handbag
£1,770 – neimanmarcus.com

Gucci white handbag
£1,345 – neimanmarcus.com

Rock N Rose floral garland
£57 – silkfred.com

Floral garland
crownandglory.co.uk

Burberry eye makeup
£21 – bloomingdales.com

Paula Dorf blush
£16 – beauty.com

Lipstick Queen lipstick
net-a-porter.com

Lime Crime lipstick
£13 – dollskill.com

Lime Crime eye makeup
£5.68 – dollskill.com

Mineral eyeshadow
£5.65 – etsy.com

Mineral eye shadow
£5.65 – etsy.com

Hair styling tool
£53 – etsy.com

Curly hair care
£8.23 – amazon.com

yes your tired because of the high intensity negative emotions

Every day it’s the same frustrated and angry, negative high intensity. It wears you out. The complexities and difficulties of the day just bear down on you and when it comes to the end of the day, you are dog tired. That tiredness reduces your inhibitions, and causes you to express yourself in a negative high intensity way. Basically you explode with rage, well that’s how I intetpretated the first few paragraphs of this HBR article.

My anger and frustrations today.

Frustration 1. 8am tried to ring for doctors appointment 12 calls in 9 minutes because even though they’re supposed to be open at 8am their not. Then several engaged calls, because there is one person answering final through only to be no appointments because the 1 doctor has taken a sick day and no replacement.

Frustration 2. The way people weave about on the pavement. I don’t think I walk quickly, but obviously I do, then its people crowding and stopping in shop doorways, and not understanding change on the bus.

Actually as I write this I’ve had a minimal frustrating angry day. Most days I’m angry because of my wife’s drinking and hyper behaviour. Today she didn’t behave that way. And yet, I’m feeling freaked because she’s not drunk or manic, its difficult to handle.

For the last three years we’ve lived in a high intensity negative world.

Maybe a long spell of low intensity positive may help.